


The world turn upside down

by Dangelin



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Parallel Universes, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6627472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dangelin/pseuds/Dangelin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton slept on a tent, and woke up in a college dorm. He found himself surround from three boys with the faces of his friends. Is 2016 and he doesn't know why he ended up in another word. He is scared because he left his world and friend in the middle of a war. His best friend John Laurens will try to ease the pains, and make him feel like home in this world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is -not- safe

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my head-canon on Tumblr! Because you asked for it. Please let me know if anything is bad written (or weird). I'm still practicing my English.

With a pencil on his temple and some papers under his head Alexander fall asleep. Anyone walking on him will find it like a miracle, just because the guy was non-stop always writing and/or discussing with other people. Half of the men knew Alexander Hamilton didn’t sleep, and the other half knew he didn’t shut up. But all the men knew Alex needed sleep so they agreed to be quiet for the rest of the night. George Washington was surprised to find the tents so silence and John had to tell him that the little lion was sleeping. There’s no need to say that Washington was pleased to hear this. It was about time.

 Lafayette was extra careful when going to sleep, just to not awake his friend. But the little man looked so tired that he was wondering if he would wake up even if an army of redcoats attacked that night.

 Alexander Hamilton was exhausted to say the least. Mentally and physically; for the last weeks he was writing like a maniac, and fighting with other soldiers about the right (and obvious! According to him) ways to win the war. He exercised in every free time he managed to have and riding all day to keep the tropes motivate was tiresome. So it was comprehensible that he slept like a log, snoring and drooling over his papers. But with the first ray of sunshine he woke up, a big yawn was the first thing to come from his mouth. The second? A scream.

 He was used to sleep somewhere and wake in an entire different place, like sleep over his horse and wake on his tent, or sleep in a tavern and wake in John’s tent or even sleep in his tent and wake over his horse. But he have never wake in such a strange place.

 

It was a small room, two beds occupied almost the entire space, each one of them at one side of a big window with a weird tricolor curtain, blue, white and red. He was in a bed and someone was on the other, under big sheets. The room had a desk with some things that he never had seen on his entire life, and there was a bookshelf too, closer to a door, and Alexander didn’t have time to read the names on the spines but they didn’t look like the books he had read. Which was absurd. 

 The person on the other bed woke up startled and after a few seconds looking for something on his bed he left the bed and walked towards Hamilton.

 

"Man, are you ok? You have another nightmare? Want me to make some coffee?"

 

Alex was speechless. The man was tall with black hair and light beard over his chin. He was wearing glasses (presumably what he was looking for) and the strangest clothes he had witnessed, an orange shirt? Without sleeves and half pants. It was like if someone decided to rip the man’s clothes as a joke and he wasn’t aware of it yet. But the weirdest thing wasn’t the clothes, it was the man itself because he looked exactly like his friend Lafayette.

 

"Alex, you ok? You look paler than usual, you really need to take a break some day or you will explode mon cheri."

"Who are you? And where’s my friend?"

"Are you still sleeping? Because if you are I’ll continue sleeping. est assez tôt."

Alex’s head started spinning and his hands were shaking, he usually felt like this after a battle, not when his friend was talking to him, but the situation was so odd and wrong that everything inside Hamilton screamed _run_. Something probably was shown on his face because the man changed his expression from sleepy to concern.

 

"You’re having another attack, isn’t?" he sat on Alex’s bed. "Repeat after me: Un, deux, trois, quatre…"

"Get away from me!"

 

The room was silent with the exception of Alex’s heavy breathing, then the boy stand up and grab a small object from the desktop. Then he was talking alone.

 

"You need to come fast." pause  "then wake up you lazy!"  pause  "is Alexander! Something is wrong with our little lion." pause and a glare from the boy who looked like Lafayette "be quick please."

"What the heck is going on? Why were you talking alone like that? And who are you?"

"You’re starting to freak me out. You know who you are?"

"Of course! What I need to know is who are you, and where I am and how do I get here, is this a sick joke from the guys? If so, ha, ha, ha I’m not laughing!" He said screaming the last part, half expecting the guys popping from hidden places revealing the truth.

"Who are you? I want to hear it from your mouth." Said the 'Laffayete'.

"My name is Alexander Hamilton"

"And which year we are?"

"1780 of course! I know I overslept but I didn’t slept a whole year, isn’t?" would that be possible? Maybe he was injured and this place was a weird hospital room?

"merde!" said the boy passing his hands over his hair. "Alex, we are in 2016, not even close, did you get hurt last night?"

 

He wasn’t listening anymore. 2016? That wasn’t possible, that was nearly 250 years. It was absurd. But something was telling Alex that was the truth, somehow he managed to travel in time. The idea was utterly ridiculous but made sense to the confused mind of the orphan. He was sure of something, it was too much. He found cover under his sheets. The door open. Two boys emerged and started talking in quiet voices, Alexander caught words like “worried” and “help”.

 

"Alex, are you ok? Do you want to talk to me?"

 

The voice hit him harder than he tough possible. It was a voice he heard for the first time in a bar singing drunk, and continue to hear a thousand of times after that. A voice he could recognize everywhere, no matter if the sound was happy, sad, angry or worried. And that day it was worried. Under the sheets he could imagine the owner of the voice worrying over him because of the lack of sleep or the lack of food, and then the boy would take him in his arms and whisper nice things to him, because that’s something he liked to do.

 The mere thought of the boy was enough to take him from under the sheets.

There were two more boys in the –now even more- small room. One of them was huge in stature and complexion, he was wearing a headband and a white sleeveless shirt and look oddly familiar to his friend Hercules Mulligan, a man Hamilton respected for his bravery in battle. The other boy was Laurens. Just that it wasn’t his Laurens.

 He had the same freckled skin and the brown hair, but this boy wear his hair shorter, wasn’t wearing his normal attire, his arms were naked and Alexander got red in the face looking him like that, he never had the chance before, their encounters were always brief and fully clothed. Seeing he like that was scandalous, especially considering there were other boys around, but they seemed comfortable with it.

 

"I’ll bring food."  said the boy who looked-and talked- like Hercules and left the room.

"Alex, are you ok?" asked 'John' again. "Is okay if I sit here?" said pointing the bed and Alex looked at Lafayette quickly, would it be weird? "You want Laf to sit with you?"

Alexander quickly shake his head and the boy laugh, and dear Lord his laugh was as sweet and bright as a morning day, Alex’s heart jump inside his chest.

"Yes, I don’t like him near either, he is French and kind of stinks, and I don’t know how you manage to sleep in the same room as he."

"Hey! I do not stink!"  The other boy groaned and Alex almost laughed at his expression.

"I’m not the only one complaining."

"No one complains, you’re the only one Mon Cheri, I’m the one who smells better of us all."

"Can you believe this guy?" asked John returning his attention to Alex and in that moment Alex realized the boy was sitting in the bed, closer to him.

 

Involuntarily he separate making the distance between them larger. John stared at him for a couple of seconds like he was hurt, but compose immediately. He tentatively close his hand around Alex’s hair and the boy melted at the touch. That was a good sign for John because he started to stroke Alex’s head softly, if Hamilton close his eyes he could pretend nothing had changed, and he was still in his tent and a John Laurens was taking care of him while he pretend to sleep.

 He didn’t knew for how long they were in that position until the door open and Hercules walked in balancing four plates full of food. Food that smelled divine, he could notice some fruit, and eggs and bacon.

 

"Where did you get that much food?" He asked noticing how rough his voice sounded.

 

The three boys stared at him, and he realized too it was the first time he talked.

 

"From the kitchen, it’s early but I told Cassandra, the cooker, about who was going to eat it and she accept. Seriously Alex, you got everyone wrapped around your finger."

"It’s so much food, how a cooker managed to have so much food? Isn’t aware of the ward we are facing? We must share it with the rest of the soldiers! We cannot eat that much when they have nothing."

 

Another stare.

 

John was the closer to him and Alexander could see the combination of emotions passing over his eyes. Finally he was calm and with the calmest voice Alex had heard he talked to him.

 

"Alex, there’s no war. Not one you need to fight, or us. We’re in 2016, you’re safe, you’re in college and Lafayette is your roommate, the four of us first met in our freshman year, you’re safe, you’re safe with us Alex. You’re safe with me."

 

Safe. He knew the meaning and knew the lie it was.

He was safe at the Caribbean. Then the Hurricane came.

He was safe with his mother. Then they got sick and she died.

He was safe with his cousin. Then he died.

He was safe at New York. And then the war begun.

He was never safe.

 

His brain was plague with thoughts and not the bright and brilliant ones. These were scarier, like the ones he used to have on the island, like the ones that came to his mind when he was lying next to his mother’s corpse. _Nothing is safe_. He started hating his brain for producing the most horrible images, if this was truly the future it meant everyone he knew was dead. _No one is safe._ He was starting to panic, he felt it like if millions of ants were climbing on his skin and were burning every inch of skin the touched, and he wanted to be freed from them. He started to scratch with his nails trying to get rid of them. _He wasn’t safe._ And the thoughts continued to pour from his brain and now he was hitting his head trying to make them stop!

 He was distantly aware that there were hands trying to make him stop. But he was stronger than them, because he needed to end. He needed to stop his mind from racing and thinking, and God why he was a non-stop? Why he couldn’t just shut off his mind completely? Why he couldn’t stop thinking!

 

"Alex, alex, stop, you’re hurting yourself." 

"Hercules Faire quelque chose!"

"I can hurt him!"

"He’s already hurting himself!"

 

The voices didnt make sense.

And if everyone was dead, why he was still alive? Why the Gods put him in that place? He always thought his place was on the war, and he was used to it, he liked it even, he enjoyed the burning of his muscles on a battle and the sound of his pend when writing next to Washington. He loved ride his horse and polish his sword. And now everything was gone. Everyone was gone.

And he was being crushed.

Hercules had his arms around him preventing him from more scratching and more hitting. His head was pounding so was his heart. And his lungs were collapsing because he was holding him so hard, and it was _good_. And he felt like dying and it finally feel _good_. And it was over. Hercules dropped him and his body betrayed him taking a big mouthful of air when all he wanted was to end.

 

"Man, what the hell is happening? You know I don’t like to use the force." Said Hercules clearly upset, his face red for the effort.

"Guys, I think Alex need some time, but not alone, I don’t trust him to be alone." John said without taking his eyes from Alex.

"Just let me to die like all my friends." was Alexander response.

"We’re your friends."  said the three at unison. "Mon petit lion, we’re here for you, remember you don’t have to deal your demons all by yourself."

"And what if you are the demons?"  said Alex crying for the first time because he wanted to trust these guys so badly, but they weren’t his friends. They weren’t his.


	2. In and Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John sounded really serious and for a moment Alexander thought about the situation. If it was possible he was here, in 2016, or a different dimension or whatever it meant that there was another Alex, probably waking at his tent and more scared than himself. He pitied the boy. At least here wasn’t a war, or that’s what he was told.

Alexander didn’t like to close his eyes. He had the feeling that life was constantly changing and the moment his eyes will close he would miss everything. But now he didn’t want to open them. Maybe, just maybe, if he keep them closed for a long time the moment he open them again everything will be back to normal. His Lafayette will tell him about the news of the war, maybe Laurens will show up with correspondence or a message from Washington. Or the redcoats will attack his tent. Not that he wanted that, but everything was better than the reality he was facing.

 But for more tightly he shut his eyes, his ears were still exposed. He could hear Laurens, Mulligan and Lafayette talking in what they thought were quiet voices. His heart ache because the voices were the same, even if they were using funny words. Lafayette had the same accent and quick voice like if he was being chased, Laurens was loud, Hercules talked like he was keeping a secret but was about to burst it. It was their voices. But weren’t they.

 

“Maybe is the lack of sleep, we know the guy need to stop to sleep.” Said Hercules.

“It could be that, or the lack of food, or he got in another fight and finally someone knock him out so hard it messed him up for real.” Said Laurens, and Alex had the urge to defend himself, he didn’t fight that much… “It could be anything, the important thing is, what are we going to do about it?”

“Help him, of course.” Lafayette said. “I know about a psychiatric, he helped Angie when her mother passed and she got to care of her sisters, it could be the best for our petit lion.”

“Laf is right, we might help him but in the end, he would need more help John. I know you want him to stay just here and see if he come back to normal, but we can’t risk another episode like last.” Hercules talked slowly, trying to make his point and Alexander was quiet under his blankets, and he gave up on trying to shut himself down. Now he was listening.

“You win guys. I think is the best for him.” Laurens said and the other boys sighed. “But not right away, let’s wait at least until tomorrow. He might need to sleep.”

“Fine, we’ll wait. But, I hate to say this, I have to go, I promise Thomas that I’ll help him with a project and he is waiting for me at the library.” Lafayette said walking away from the guys, maybe heading to his bed, Alex thought.

“I can’t believe how you stand the guy, he is a…”

“Shush I won’t let you talk ill about him.” Lafayette interrupted Hercules. “I know he acts like a moron sometimes, but he’s my friend. He helped me back in France and is really funny and…”

“In Alexander’s words, a dog speaks more eloquently” said John and Alex smirked under his sheets that was something he would say, and know he was wondering about that Thomas guy.

“Anyway, I’m leaving. You can’t leave mon ami alone.”

“I have to.” Said Hercules “I have detention with Professor Lee.”

“Fuck Lee” said John

“Yeah I got detention for saying something like that.” The three guys laughed and then they went silent, Alex wondered if they were staring at him, for some reason he felt eyes on him, or he was becoming a bit paranoid.

“Well I guess you’re on babysitting duty Johnny” said Laf and Hercules ask him to give him a call if something happen.

 

They kept talking for a couple of minutes more before saying goodbye to John, and goodbye to Alex too. Alexander didn’t respond. Then the door opened, and close immediately. The room went back to silence. But Alexander was really good at listening and catching small details in a situation, and he could hear John’s respiration. The boy was close to the bed, and probably was staring at Alexander, but he wasn’t talking. He was just breathing. In and out. Steady breathings, calm. And it was the most relaxing thing Alexander faced that day. In and out. He could feel his muscles relaxing and his jaw soothing, for how long was he so tense? In and out. It was like in his tent. He would sat at his desk and John would lay near him just breathing, and Alexander will calm and then he would stop working and will lay next to the boy. Just to hear him breath, in and out.

 

“Move a little, if I’m going to take care of you at least I can rest a bit.” John abruptly said tearing Alex’s sheets so the boy was staring at him. “I could lay at Laf’s bed, but who knows what’s in his bed? I don’t want to find out, no thank you.”

Alexander was staring at him. John’s freckled skin was a beautiful replica of his john’s face. All the freckles were at the same spots. The boy was staring at him, and yes, it was painful to watch.

“So? Alexander, please move.”

 

Alex did so. He move a little. The boy throw himself in the bed next to him. The bed was small so the two boys ended up with their arms and legs touching.  It was electrifying, especially considering that they weren’t using a lot of clothes. Alexander hadn’t notice before, but he was wearing short pants like his friends, and another sleeveless shirt. So his exposed skin touched John’s. This time John didn’t touched him like he did before. He closed his eyes and continue breathing, In and out.

 Alex use that time to think. He was pretty good at that, he could solve any problem just thinking his way out. He needed to research, that was the first thing he did every time when facing a hard situation. Research and learn everything about the hostile place he was. He did that at the island, and then when moving to New York, and with the soldiers. No matter the place, he learned about it and work to dominate it. He never surrendered at it. And he won’t start today, even if the place was the future. Which, yes, it was a crazy.

 

“So, you say its 2016?” Alex said quietly.

“Yes” John responded, quietly too.

“And we are in New York?”

“Yes.” He repeat.

“And your name is John Laurens?”

This time the boy turn his head so he was staring at Alex, and not the ceiling. “You know my name Alex.”

“I think I know it, but only because you’re so alike with my…with a friend of mine.”

“And your friend, his name was John Laurens too?”

“Yes” he said.

“You have another friends back there?” Alex nodded. “They were like Lafayette and Hercules?”

“Yes, Hercules Mulligan, and Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette”

“Marquis? Like a noble or something? Oh you better never tell him that or we’ll never going to hear the end of that”

“He is not? Your friend, I mean.”

“Laf? No, the only royal thing about him is his hair.” Said John laughing, and Alexander could lay there all day just listening to him laugh and breath. “Ok, so let’s get this straight. There’s another John Laurens at 1780, another Hercules, another Lafayette and another Alexander Hamilton.” Alex nodded, he liked that, stating facts. “And they look like us.”

“You look like them.”

“Yes, sure. They came first.” John said shaking his head. “You said something about a war? Because if you’re here, that means my Alexander is back there where you came from, and I know he can take care of himself, but I will like to know how safe he is?”

“Your Alexander?”

“Yes, I mean you have your own John Laurens back at 1780, and I have my Alexander here. If you’re here instead of him, it means he is there at 1780.”

 

John sounded really serious and for a moment Alexander thought about the situation. If it was possible he was here, in 2016, or a different dimension or whatever it meant that there was another Alex, probably waking at his tent and more scared than himself. He pitied the boy. At least here wasn’t a war, or that’s what he was told.

 

“We are at war. In my timeline, I mean. We are fighting the King George’s redcoats. It’s dangerous, I sincerely hopes your friend is alright. I know my friend and they will protect you friend.”

“Thanks. I love the guy, he is the best person I know, and it will suck if something happened to him.”

 

Was it possible that this John feel the same way his own John felt about him? The way John talked about his friend was so moving. He talked about love, and for some reason Alexander felt he wasn’t talking the way one did about a good friend, but like a lover. Was that a normal thing in the future? Was this a dream? He had a couple of dreams before where he and John lived together and no one cared. Was this another dream?

 

“There’s something I still don’t understand.” John said after a long time of silence. “How this happened? You talked to someone? Like a witch or something? Or maybe you fell somewhere magical?”

“Magic doesn’t exists.” Alexander said, and for a second he thought John would prove him wrong, but the boy didn’t. “And I did nothing. I was at my tent, working on some letters, then I fell asleep. Maybe I fell from my horse and I’m in a coma? Or I have a big contusion?”

“I don’t know, but something happened. People don’t travel in time just like that. Are you sure you didn’t find a blue phone box?”

“A what?”

“Right, you don’t know about phones yet, isn’t?” and suddenly the boy was smiling. “Oh God, if you’re something like my Hamilton you’re going to love this.”

 

John stand up, went to the desk and grab one of the strange things on it. It was a rectangular object, white with the picture of an apple on top. The boy opened the object, and now there were two rectangles, one black and the other had smaller rectangles with letters and numbers on it. The boy pressed a button and the black rectangle came to life with a white and bright light. Alexander was curious about the future thing so he sat in the bed and move closer to the edge. John was still working on that thing. The object made sounds, and the light was still bright but it wasn’t just white, sometimes it was blue, and sometimes red. It was like a rainbow inside of it.

 

“Ok, so you know what is this?” said John turning the object towards Alex.

“…No.”

“Oh well.” He said sound disappointed, but compose himself. He brought a chair with him and sat next Alexander’s bed, putting the object over the bed, in front of the two. “This thing is called a laptop. It’s your laptop.”

“Laptop? What an odd name, what does it means? Is an attire? Something that you put over your lap?”

“What? No!” said the boy laughing. “Jesus, I never had pay so much attention to the name, I guess it’s called like that because you can put it over your lap, but not like clothe. This is like a typewriter”

“A what?” Alexander was so confused and that was a first, he never felt so stupid.

“Sorry, that’s ahead of your time too. What did you have at 1780?”

 

John thought for a couple of minutes and Alexander used that time to inspect the ‘laptop’, which was in that moment showing a painting of him and his friends. Or the other Alexander. They were hugging, the four of them, with smiles at their faces. John was looking at Alexander in such an intimate way that Alexander found weird, what would the painter thought when making the portrait? Then, after more scrutiny he was considering the idea of this being not a painting, because it didn’t look like any paint he had seen in his life. It was so real.

 

“I can’t think of anything you know that looks like this. But this is the best thing in the future, you can do almost anything with it. Talk with friends, read books, search for information, play games. This thing is like a library, but better.”

“You can read here?” It didn’t look like a book to him.

“Yes, well you normally read on your eBook, not here, but yes, you can read here too.” Alex wasn’t going to ask what an ‘eBook’ was. “Wait, I know what I’m going to show you. Do you like to write?”

“Sure.”

“And you probably write with a pen and paper, isn’t?”

“Is there another way?”

“Oh my God, yes you’ll love this.” He grab the ‘laptop’ again, started touching the place where the small rectangles were and then the painting was gone and replaced with a white paper? There were other things at the top, and a title was written on the very top, it said: Microsoft Word.

“What’s this?”

“This is what you love, you spend hours in this. You can write here.” And then he started touching the small rectangles with the letters on it, and like magic they appeared in the page.

 

**Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens first met in a bar. What a cliché.**

 

John stopped writing and was staring at Alexander. But Alex wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at the laptop.

 

“Teach me how to do it.”

 

 

* * *

 

John Laurens first met Alexander Hamilton in a bar. It was the night before school begun, and he wanted to relax before classes started. There was a bar, property of school, and he decided to go there. They didn’t sell alcohol to minors but there was a guy, John couldn’t remember the name, who decided to invite everyone a drink and the owner didn’t mind, maybe because school was about to begin and the excitement was palpable in the air. Anyway, he was drinking.

 He met Lafayette, a rich boy transferred from France. He was sitting with Hercules, and old friend from John. They clicked immediately. It was the best night of his life, just hanging with these guys and singing really loudly when a song he liked started. Everyone at the bar seemed like having a good time.

And then he came.

 

Alexander Hamilton walked into the bar looking like a freshman supposed to look. He had the biggest smile on his face, and was standing on his toes to get a view form the people, because he was short. He was wearing the biggest sweatshirt John had seen. Aaron Burr was next to him, talking slowly and pointing at the multitude, but the Alexander wasn’t listening, or that was the impression John had. He used to blame the alcohol, but later he thanked the alcohol, because he went where Aaron Burr and Alexander and invited them to his table.

 He loved to hear Alexander talked. And they talked every single day after that moment.

He knew almost everything about Alexander Hamilton, he knew where he came from, knew about his mother, and about his cousin. He knew about his fears, aspirations and hopes. He knew about his favorite book, his favorite color, food and tv show.

That’s why it pained him to see him like this. That morning was the worst thing he had experienced. Alexander looked like a scare animal. Sometimes he had panic attacks, he would lock himself in the bathroom and cried, but he never acted like that. He never looked at John like if he was a stranger. And that was awful.

 He needs more time, he said to himself while looking how he re-learn to use a laptop. The same bright smile light up his face. What happened? He asked to himself. What was wrong to him? He didn’t like to think about the psychiatrist because he knew there wasn’t anything wrong with him, but there was something wrong today.

 

“This laptop can’t take me back where I came from?” asked Alexander looking from the screen for the first time in almost an hour.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Oh.” Alexander wrote a little more. “John, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Will you help me to return to my time?”

 

How can he say yes? But he had to, so he did. Alex was content with that, he went back to his work. John lay on the bed again, next to Alexander who was ignoring him completely. It was like his Hamilton was back again, working on another project.

 

“Can I ask you something Alex?”

“Mhmm”

 

But how can he ask? How was he supposed to ask him the same thing he asked when feeling insecure? It was like a game between the two of them, he would ask, ‘do you love me?’ and Alex would answer, ‘of course, do you?’, and he would respond with a kiss. That was their thing. But Alexander wasn’t feeling like himself, and what if he rejected him? He couldn’t endure it.

 

“Wake me if something happens.” He said.

 John Laurens closed his eyes. He had faith everything will be back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the waiting, I hope i'll be able to update once a week at least. Hope you like it!


	3. The plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander met the rest of the gang.

Alexander had a bunch of work to do. He had papers to write, soldiers to command, friends to talk and beers to pour, even if the last wasn’t exactly work it still took time from him. Time, he never had time for all the things he wanted to do. He could combine two of his works in one, talk with his friends while writing, or command while drinking. He had to think of a way to make things easier. Living was harder, he recall.

That’s every thought that came to his mind when waking up. As always he felt a little disoriented, it always happened after a long night of sleeping (which wasn’t often). He wasn’t in his tent, or any other tent. There was a boy in his bed. Alexander was about to scream but his mind was quicker than his mouth and he remembered everything that happened before going to sleep.

He wasn’t in his time, whatever that meant. He fall asleep looking for answers in the small device John had shared with him, the laptop. According to the object time traveling wasn’t possible, he knew that, but according to the device there were people who had time traveled. There were hundreds of stories on the ‘internet’ (what an odd word, Alex had thought). But none of those stories told him how to time travel, or how to reverse it.

John was sleeping beside him. He had wake last day just to grab some food for dinner, he brought Alex a weird package with cookies in form of fish. According to John that was something the other Alex had to eat before going to sleep, if going to sleep. Thinking about the other Alexander was weird, how was he?

The door opened and Lafayette walked inside, he had a towel around his neck, his hair was completely damp and was bare chested. Alexander let a small scream leave his mouth. It wasn’t the first time he had seen a man naked, obviously considering he was all the time surround by men in the camp, but it was the first time he had seen his friend in such state. And it was too much. Lafayette was…well he look pretty good. Alex was burning.

 

“Oh hey.” Lafayette said grinning. “If you’re checking me out that means you’re back to yourself?”

“I’m not checking nothing!” he said trying to sound offended, but his voice was high and he was pretty flustered to succeed.

“Don’t worry man, I’m just playing with you I know you don’t feel like that about me, we talked about this last year, remember?” he was putting a, what was the name?, a shirt.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not the Alexander you talked to…”

 

That made Laf stop, in the most inconvenient position ever, because the shirt wasn’t completely over his body, it was a bit ride up and his flat stomach was still visible, and Alex wondered how was possible to look more suggestive with clothes on.

 

“Yeah, John texted me about it. You’re from the past and our little lion is there.” He shake his head like he couldn’t believe it, but he wasn’t pushing Alex either. “Tell me, vétéran Alex, the other Lafayette looks as good as me?”

 

Alexander couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. He had the answer but in that moment a music interrupt his thoughts. The music came from John’s ‘cellphone’. The boy get up quickly, almost scare because of the music. His hair was a mess and had a mark on his check where he had rested over a pillow.  He found the other boys staring at him. He looked at Alexander the longer and then, very carefully asked.

 

“Is that you Alex?”

“Wrong Alex.” He said, and the painful expression of the guy made him regret the words. If John was that upset Alex could pretend to be the other boy until he found the way to get back, couldn’t he? It pained him horrors to see him like that.

“Sure, of course. Did you sleep well?”

“I did.” He answered surprised by the statement, because he actually did.

“You’re not longer freaked out?” asked Lafayette joining the conversation, but siting at his own bed.

“I’m still am. But somehow it doesn’t scare me as it should, I don’t feel attacked in here, maybe is that?” he didn’t meant to say those words, but the moment they poured from his mouth he knew they were true. “Like maybe this is where I need to be right now, as if something put me here in this moment. That’s what it feels. I don’t know how to express it, I felt the same way when moving to New York, and when meting y…my friends back there.”

“Like you belong?” John said, and yes that was the word he was looking for. He felt like he belonged.

“Yes, like that.” The other boys didn’t said nothing so he continue. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to return, I still want to. And you promised me to help me.” Alex said pointing to John.

“I didn’t forget.” Alex couldn’t see his expression, but he still sound awful. “But I can’t do it today, we have classes, and I know is a lot to ask, but Alex cannot miss his classes, can you go for him?”

 

He had forgot they were at school. He was tented to say no, lock himself in the dorm and keep ‘googling’ about time travel. But his curiosity was big, how many new things he could learn in one day of school? It couldn’t hurt…isn’t?

 

“Which classes?” he asked, and by the smile on Lafayette he knew the classes will be good.

 

\---

John Laurens couldn’t believe what he was seeing. In other circumstances the picture wouldn’t be weird, it will be like any other Monday. But the circumstances weren’t the same, Alexander Hamilton thought he came from the past so he wasn’t acting like himself. But the picture in front of him was so Alexander that a spark of hope rested in his heart. _Don’t illusion yourself, you can’t be sure._ But his heart was screaming that his Alex was himself again.

Alexander Hamilton was standing over a table in the middle of the cafeteria, he had the most serious expression on his face and was aggressively talking. Everyone was listening as people do when he started talking. He was wearing the biggest sweatshirt he had seen, probably it belonged to Hercules. His long hair was tied in the tidiest bun he had seen, which was weird because Alex never had time to comb his hair. He looked like a teenager but the way he talked and the way he looked at the people around him made him look older. John felt a déjà vu of the night he met him. Alex had the soul of an old person inside of him.

 

“We can’t just sit here and expected to someone solve things for us, where are my hunger brothers for equality? They say the school is for everyone but they don’t let boys in ballet? They don’t let girls in the football team? What kind of equality is that?!”

 

Angelica Schuyler was with Hamilton, and Aaron Burr was sitting in the same table Alex was standing, looking bored or maybe defeated (probably he had already argued with Alex). Everyone was listening, even the cookers. Obviously.

 

“What’s going on?” John asked to Hercules, who was sitting in a table next to the one Alex was making his speech. “Is our Alex back?”

“No, he isn’t. I was giving him a tour when we met Angelica, and now we’re here. Angelica was talking about how the coach didn’t let her be in the football team and suddenly they were pretty mad. I don’t know man, they started talking really fast and loud, and I love it.”

“That’s the worst excuse for ‘I couldn’t stop them’ that you could think.”

 

But John would be lying if he didn’t admit it was lovely to see Alex like that. That was something he loved about him, how passion he was about a topic. Alexander was still screaming, moving his hands with every word he said. He talked as fast like any rapper, and John thought that maybe the half of the people there wasn’t understanding him. But they were motivated and suddenly everyone was clapping and stomping his feet.

 

“I’m surprised no one have come to shut him up.” Said Eliza sitting in the table in front of John.

“Well, George is still in London, according to Laf Jefferson is studying?” said Peggy joining her sister at the table.

“Yes, and Seabury haven’t forgot his last fight with Alexander, he might still have a black eye.” Said Lafayette appearing with a jelly over his tray.

“Let me recap.” John said when everyone was sitting. “All of you were aware about that,” that being Alexander and Angelica’s speech “but no one decided to stop it?”

Eliza was the only feeling guilty. “Angelica was really excited about it when Alexander proposed to make a little revolution at the cafeteria.”

“And you,” you being Laf and Hercules “thought it would be alright? Considering Alex’s state?”

“We told the Schuylers.” Hercules said unapologetic.

“Right, because telling everyone that Alex is insane is the best plan?”

“Hey! Don’t think we are stupid John.” Eliza said, and the weird moments that she used curses demanded attention. “The moment we started talking to him we knew something was off with him.”

“We know him as well as all of you.” Peggy confided.

 

And there was something else in Eliza’s expression. She looked nervous, as if she were keeping a secret. Eliza was a pretty girl, everyone agreed on that, you would never find anyone as kind as her. Eliza was terrible keeping secrets.

 

“What did Alexander told you?”

 

Alexander took that moment to approach the table. He was red in his face, his hair was still tight in the bun but his eyes were sparkling. He had the biggest smile on his face only matched with Angelica’s own smile. The both of them looked like the just won a Grammy.

 

“A small victory for us.” Alex announced.

“You didn’t win anything, just a bunch of people applauded. That’s all mon petit lion.” Lafayette said but he was smiling, Alex’s happiness was contagious.

“We spread the word!” He was jumping on his toes, and John wondered how it was possible a guy could do that without looking ridiculous. “Have you not know the great power in words? Is the most powerful weapon we have!”

“Those kids over here will tell to his friends, and they will tell his friends. This Friday hopefully we'll have many people.” Angelica said stealing from Eliza’s food.

“Wait, what’s going to happen this Friday?” Peggy intervened.

“The football tryouts, it was Alex idea to make a small rebellion that day. Is public space so no one can tell us nothing if we chill at the benches”

“Maybe we could distract the players…”Laf joined.

“Or challenge them to a game.” Hercules supported. “I know a few guys of the gym who could help.”

“And I know a few girls willing to kick some asses.” Angelica agreed, smiling wider than before.

“Is done! The plan to make the football team equal is on progress. Now, ideas for the other plan?”

 

And now the whole table was in silence.

 

“Come on! You promise to help me if I help you miss Schuyler.” Alexander looked cheated. John wanted to hug him. But he couldn’t.

“I know. But, you must admit it’s more difficult to send someone to the past than help with equality.”

“Yes, it might. But you need to help.”

“And I will! I promise!”

“Is no one weird out by this?” John asked to Peggy, the one closer, in whispers so any one will heard him but her.

“I think we were at the beginning, but I love to watch this kind of cases in tv, you know? About people waking one day sure that they were other person? Or talking in a different language? My sisters have watched some episode with me, so none us was considering madness or anything.”

“So you really think something is wrong with him? Something that can be fixed?”

“I mean, Alex is pretty messed up. We all know that.”

 

And that was true. Alexander Hamilton was many things, and exempt to problems wasn’t one. He had insomnia, he was a workaholic, and he had food problems and rage problems. Was it hard to believe something more was messing his brain? No, it wasn’t.

 

“You know how to fix him?” John asked to Peggy looking at Alexander, who was at that moment asking Lafayette how to use his ‘celluphono’.

“There are not a lot of cases, and most of them happened after a coma.”

“But is there a solution?”

 

Peggy shook her head.

 

“But if someone can help him that would be you. You’ve always know how to fix him John.” Peggy was the youngest of the group but sometimes she was the wisest of them all, maybe because she was always covered with the fraternal love of her sisters.

“Thank you Peggy, but, how can I help him when he doesn’t know who I am?”

“Who are you, or who are you to him?”

“Both.”

 

She had nothing to say. And John either.

\--- 

 

“How was school?” John asked.

 

Alexander and John were walking towards the dorms. It was late at night and everyone was heading to sleep or to a party. Alex was invited to several parties that day but Hercules and Angelica refused to let him go. Their most solid argument was that he wasn’t used to the futuristic beer and that could messed him up. Lafayette drove the Schuylers sisters to their house, apparently neither of them slept on campus and Hercules headed to the gym. Angelica was planning more about the boycott of the Friday and will be staying with someone at the female dorms.

 

“It was surprising. The classes were good, I knew very few things the professors were talking, and that’s amazing, do you know when was the last time I studied something new? It’s been years since I study for something! I will have so much fun studying until I leave this place. Eliza showed me the library and I can’t believe how there’s people not going there? Like, what’s wrong with you guys? All the knowledge at your disposition and you prefer to play on your tiny smartphones.”

“You can have the same information with the smartphone.”

“You need to teach me how to use it, John” Alex said feeling excited.

 

All the things the future had to offer. It was overwhelming. All the knowledge, the possibilities and the opportunities. How can he not love the future? It was cold so Alexander wrapped himself in the ‘sweatshirt’ Hercules gave him. That was another weird thing of the future, boys gave clothes to each other, and girls wear tight clothes and smaller skirts.

Alexander almost had a heart attack the moment he laid eyes on the Schuylers sisters. Pretty wasn’t enough to describe them, they were gorgeous. He first saw Angelica, and he forgot his name, then Eliza and his heart went boom, finally Peggy and he was helpless. The three were like a dream.

 

“I must admit that future is pretty good. The girls look prettier here.”

“Girls?” asked John without changing his tone of voice.

“Yes, the Schuylers sisters for example? I can’t believe how lucky you are to have them as friends. Haven’t the other Alex made a move with one of them? Because if not, I’ll be very disappointed to my doppelganger.”

John stopped in his tracks, then slowly turned his attention to Alex. His eyes were colder than the night and sadder than the moon.

“Don’t you dare to try something with them. They are just our friends. Your hear me?”

“It wasn’t my intention, I just…” Alex said stumbling over his words. He was always in awe with the similarities between his John and this John, and now they looked more alike than never. This John had the same feral expression John used in battlefield. He looked hot.

“Peggy is out of limits. Angelica is way out of your league. And Eliza.” He stopped to breath. “Eliza can’t handle another heartbreak, she doesn’t know that yet. But her sisters will eat you alive.”

“Does that mean…?” He knew what those words meant, but he couldn’t say them, it wasn’t his place.

“Alex and Eliza were a thing. They dated.”

 

He read about dating, early that morning. It was another weird thing, hang out with another person without the compromise of a wedding. And not just that, but have sex without making a big deal of it, and not just with a person of the opposite sex than you, but also of the same sex. He learned the last when walking the corridors with Lafayette they found two boys kissing, with no one paying too much thought to them. He googled it. And now the pictures were in his head.

And having John so close was reminding him again about the things he found on the internet.

 

“Is Alex dating someone I should know?” Hamilton asked.

 

The thought jumped to his brain after John mentioned Eliza, (which wasn’t a surprised considering that Eliza was the prettiest girl he had seen). He didn’t want to run into another girl and ignore her breaking her heart, or worse flirt with some other person in front of a girl the other Hamilton was dating. That could break anyone’s heart.

 

“No one.” John said picking up his peace, leaving Alex behind.

“Wait!” Alex picked his pace too. “I have one more question.” John didn’t responded so Alex continued. “Did your Alexander and Lafayette dated?”

“What!”

“I thought, because of the way Laf looks at me?” He was blushing, he could blame the cold, but who was he kidding? Laf was checking him out all the day, he knew about it because he was used to girls staring at him. Never boys. Not in public at least. The thought made him look at John, but John had the same wild expression again.

“No. You. No, they never dated.”

“Good to know.”

“This doesn’t freak you out?” John asked, softening his face. Looking almost vulnerable.

“The what?”

“You know, boy and boy…”

“Yes. But like everything else in your world. It just surprise me how open it is.” In his world, no one would admit it publicly. And yet here, it was so acceptable. He told John that, and the boy laughed.

“It might be, but there are still people who don’t accept it. Gay people are targeted, and hurt for it.”

“And yet is way more acceptable than in my world.” Hamilton said not wanting to let the topic drop.

 

John stopped to look at Alexander, a question was forming in his head. Alex knew the question and somehow he was almost screaming at him to say it. But the boy didn’t. Alexander was glad because he still didn’t know how to answer it, and was disappointed because he wanted to know the answers know, and with the question over the table he had to think strongly about it.

 

“I’m not going to ask until you’re ready.” John said and Alex nod. John sighed. “I’m getting tired, let’s go to sleep.”

“John.”

“Another quick question?” he tried to sound irritated, but a smile was on his lips.

“Do you sleep often with Alexander?”

“How do you managed to make the most awkward questions? I thought you old people were more reserved.”

“Hey! I’m not old, I’m nineteen years old!”

 

John was walking faster laughing at the exasperate voice of Alexander. But he never answered, and somehow that was everything Hamilton needed to know. He was starting to understand there were a lot of similarities between him and the 2016 Alexander Hamilton. They liked sweet girls, cheese, cookies, books, write, argue, and sleep next to John Laurens.


	4. Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander met his new psychiatric and realized no one believed his story.

Alexander kept a small notebook with him. It was Hercules idea and the notebook belonged to Angelica. The idea of the notebook was to write down everything he started to understand about the 2016, and then write similarities between his world and this one, also write everything that confused him so anyone will try to clear his head.

A week had passed since the first morning he woke up in this strange world and the notebook was almost full. He tried to write with his smallest handwriting but still, he had so much questions about this new world, and he had too many ideas about how grand 2016 was. The last page he had wrote said:

 

**QUESTIONS ABOUT THE FUTURE**

  * How can I get back to my right time?
  * What did Alexander did to break Eliza’s heart?
  * Can I amend things between Alexander and Eliza? (I probably shouldn’t interfere)
  * What’s Eurovision????
  * How can I get better Wi-Fi (It sucks in the dorms!)
  * John Laurens???
  * Why the Doctor only have British (and females) companions?
  * Who is Lord Voldemort and why I can’t say his name?
  * John Laurens??



 

He had wrote John Laurens name twice because it was the only question he didn’t knew how to form. For the past week he had talked with everyone at school, even the famous Thomas Jefferson (Alex was right calling him less eloquent than a dog), and had reached to a conclusion of where the other Alexander stand with them. He had wrote five pages about all the people he had talked and the relation his doppelganger had with them.

 

**FRIENDS/ENEMYS OF ALEXANDER HAMILTON 2.0**

**SCHUYLERS**

  * **Angelica Schuyler:** Friend, ex-crush (crush means ‘a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special’), top in the class, feminist.
  * **Eliza Schuyler:** Ex-girlfriend, cinnamon roll (I’m still not so sure about the meaning of that term), broke her heart (??), amazing playing piano and singing.
  * **Peggy Schuyler** : Little one, little sister, too pure, can kill you if she tried. Apparently she slapped Alexander when he did something to Eliza (and Alexander was knocked for a couple of hours too).



**ENEMYS**

  * **George III:** British. Jerk. Rich boy who owns half the school, is always bullying people and Alex and he have fight more than anyone can counts. He have the most ridiculous good hair but he is still an asshole.
  * **James Madison:** Maybe-not-an-enemy. Helped Hamilton with a big project last year and they were getting along really fine? Then he started talking about Hamilton at his back, and stopped giving him aide. Alexander probably said something hurtful to him (if Alexander 2.0 is like me then he probably did.)
  * **Thomas Jefferson:** If he keep talking I’m going to kill him.
  * **Aaron Burr:** Done with Alex 2.0 shit. Is the one who is always trying to shut me up. Don’t like the fun. Is grumpy.



**FRIENDS:**

  * **Aaron Burr:** He is twice in this list, because they were friends before college. He was the first person Alex talked to. Alexander was admiring him before coming to college. (One more thing in common) Both Aaron Burr are serious but not so bad…
  * **Marquis de Lafayette:** Not a royal member. French interchange student. Hair goals (Angelica wrote the last one). Had a crush on Alexander and they probably kiss at some point (There’s no comment from Laurens or Lafayette). Is Hamilton roommate and they watch horror movies every Tuesday at night.
  * **Hercules Mulligan:** His parents also sell pants, and he knows how to sew too. He is champion of the soccer team of the school. He was the first person to offer a place where to stay in breaks. His family is amazing. He is always gifting clothes to Hamilton.
  * **John Laurens:** Best friend…



There were more people but those were the most important. Again he didn’t knew what to write in the John Laurens entry. He knew Alex and he shared a more profound bound, but how profound it was? He could only assume. Based on his own life he could say that perhaps they shared something more than a friendship, but if his life and Alex 2.0 were alike then he could assume that their relationship was also a secret.

 

“Alexander, he is ready to see you” John interrupted his thoughts.

 

Today was the first day of therapy of Alexander. Everyone told him it was to help him with the trauma of being in a new world, but he knew deep down that they didn’t believed him. They treated him like if he was another person but he wasn’t blind and he could see how they stopped talking for seconds just to watch him, half expecting to see the Alex 2.0. 

It was hard. He was writing letters to each one of his new friends trying to convince them about who he was in reality. Hopefully some of them would believe him and will really try to find a way to send him back to his time. Until this point the only help was coming from Angelica with Doctor who marathons, a gift from Peggy (a time-turner of Harry Potter) and lots of nights talking about what happened before coming to 2016 with Lafayette, both of them laying on their beds about to sleep.

John had help at his way. He tried to help him with everything, he answered every question he formulated (except the ones about his relationship with 2.0) and gave him all the space he needed to adjust. He was the one who decided it was time for Alex to see a psychiatric, just if Alex was comfortable with the idea, and he will be the one joining Alexander in those sessions too.

They were at the office of the psychiatric, the room was blue with paintings of trees and seas, and it had two black sofas a coffee table with magazines and a desk with a secretary. The woman was standing in front of a door, and she’d probably told John that they were ready for the session. Alexander closed his little notebook and followed John to the room.

The other room was blue too and more of the same paintings were hanging on the wall. There was a big desk and two comfortable chairs in front of it. There was a man standing at the other side of the desk wearing a black suit and blue tie. He was a serious man by the way he was looking at the newcomers, nothing in his resemblance screamed calm, all the contrary he look like someone who was ready to break into a fight if it was need to, someone who could lead an army in battle without breaking sweat. He look like a general.

“Sir!” Alex said immediately standing still, with a hand over his temple to salute the general.

The man looked confused for a second and then breaking into a smile responded the salute.

“That’s not necessary, I see you were looking at my diploma”

 

Alex wasn’t but now he was looking at the frame the general was pointing, it was a diploma of the military school. Alexander stopped breathing for a second, of course, this man wasn’t the same general Washington he knew, and he was probably just a man with no relation with Hamilton.

 

“Are you on the military?” asked the other Washington.

“No, sir.”

“You have perfect posture, the cadets need at least a year to stand like you did just now. I’m impressed.”

 

And by the look on Lauren’s face he wasn’t the only impressed by this. John was staring at Alexander like if a second head had grown next to the one he already had, he was pretty confused at what he was seeing. Alexander was nervous now, he didn’t know why but the deep scrutiny of his friend was making him anxious, after almost a week of “I’ll just look at you if it’s really necessary” to have the total attention of the freckled boy was disturbing. He was so gorgeous.

 

“Your friend told me you wanted him in our session, but I can make him leave if you want to.” The not-a-general said clearly looking the anxious face of Hamilton.

“He wanted me here.” John said tearing his eyes from Alexander.

“Actually, I’ll talk with the general alone…” Alexander said.

 

John was looking at him again, asking if it was what he really want with just a look. Alex knew what he was thinking, because he knew those eyes on a different face. He nod and John smiled trying to make him feel better. He said goodbye to the general and then he left the room closing the door.

 

“You don’t need to call me general, son.” Washington said taking seat.

“I’m sorry, sir.” He said taking seat in front of him too.

 

Over the desk was a portrait of the general with a woman, probably his wife, and a cat, there were more photos but they were facing the other side of the desk and Alexander couldn’t see what were in them.

 

“So, what would you like to talk about?”

“I think my friends already told you about me. Angelica Schuyler said she talked to you.”

“Yes, she did, but I want to hear it from you.”

“I’m afraid of sounding like a stupid, and I’m not stupid.”

“You don’t strike me as one, son.” And he was serious, and this time his expression did seemed like someone ready to hear you and not just the military man Alex knew. “Please, go on. No one will judge you.”

“Well, sir, you asked if I was in the militia and I’m not, not in this year. I joined the militia in 1775, I become a captain and joined forces with other generals to fight in a war.”

“You fought in the American Revolutionary war?”

“I did.” He stopped but the general said nothing. “I was fighting in the war, before waking one morning in this body.”

“But you have the same name your new body had.”

“I know, I have a theory. I was reading a book about different dimensions, parallel dimensions. Every single of this dimensions are the same but with slightly differences, like time for example, or vocations of the persons, or even gender.”

“You’re saying that in other dimension I could be a woman?” asked Washington, but his tone wasn’t mocking, but interest.

“Or you could be a general leading an entire army.”

“I understand. So, you already knew who I am?” He asked.

“I did, sir.” Alex was nervously playing with his fingers. “The George Washington that I know is the commander in chief of the continental army.”

“So, we work together?”

“Yes, sir.” He was about to tell him about the close relationship they had, but decided against to.

“I must admit you don’t seem like a stupid young man, like you said, but I have struggles trying to believe you.”

“Sir, at this point I don’t want believers, I just want help to go back to my place.”

“To your war.”

“Y-yes, to my war, sir.”

“Your friend, Angelica, told me you were looking explanations of how you came to this world, as you call it. But I’m going to ask you, have you wondered why are you here? Not the how, but the _why_.”

“Sir?”

“I have treated people with traumas and they make themselves believe they’re someone else just to escape from their past.”

“I’m not pretending to be…”

“Let’s say I believe you, but what I’m talking about is, what if there’s something you were trying to run away off and that’s why you ended up here? You look like a brilliant young man, and I remember when I was your age. I was scare of the military, and I used to cry because of how hard everything was. How many fears a young man like you could have faced in the middle of a war?”

“You’re saying I was scared and that’s why I’m here?”

“And why are you upset? I’m not trying to say you’re a coward but…”

“But that exactly what you’re trying to say, sir! I’m not a coward, I wasn’t scared and I can’t believe anyone thought you could’ve help me. I was wrong mistaking you with my commander, you’re clearly nothing like him.”

 

Alexander stand up and was reaching for the door.

 

“Son.”

“And don’t call me son ever again.” Alex said before leaving the room closing the door behind him with more force he needed to.

 

“Alex, are you ok?” John asked standing from one of the couches, he was staring at his phone and now all his attention was in Hamilton.

“Let’s leave. Please.”

 

John didn’t asked twice and followed Hamilton out of the building. They started walking without thinking where they were heading to. Alexander was thinking about his small talk with the general and the real reason why he was so upset. It wasn’t that the man in suit wasn’t like his commander, it was because they were the same. And if that was true, it meant that his general thought he was a coward. It was that the real reason why he choose Charles Lee as his second in command? Everyone thought he was a coward in the army? Somehow they found a way to get rid of him without killing him and that’s why he ended up in another world?

 

“Ok, stop.” John said and grabbed Alexander by the shoulders.

“What?”

“Stop thinking like that, I can almost hear your thoughts.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you alright?” he asked that at least three times every day.

“I can't say I’m not.”

“Why are you so mad? You look like you’re about to punch someone in the face, and I’m the only one around here and I appreciate my face so please, just calm down man.”

“I’ll never punch you.” The idea seemed stupid. Laurens smiled and realized he was touching Alexander and immediately stopped his grip.

“Then, do you want to talk about it?”

“You don’t believe me, don’t you?” he asked slowly without tearing his eyes from John to catch every single reaction.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…”

“I knew it!” He was screaming at this point and the people walking around stopped to stare at him. “All of you are just playing around! You probably gather every day just to talk about how stupid Alexander is, and what a fool he become. You probably skype to each other to talk about all the stupid things I asked or talk about the asylums where you should put me.”

“Ok first, stop screaming. Second, how you dare to think we joke or laugh about you? Do we talk about you? Of course! But because we care Alexander! And we’re worried about you!”

“Well I’m sorry I’m such a big burden to all of you. You won’t have to care about me anymore, I’m leaving.”

 

If they didn’t believe him, and weren’t going to help him, then he had to go. As simple as that. He knew how to be alone, he did it when his mother passed away. No matter if the world was different, a world was still a world, there’ll be people willing to help and people willing to take him down. And Alexander wasn’t a coward. He will make his way out of it.

 

“Alex, don’t be stubborn. Where will you go?”

“I’ll take the first ticket to Atlantis or Hogwarts.”

“You know those aren’t real places, right?”

 

He did not, but now he knew. He ignore him and turn around to leave him. John grabbed him again this time with more force taking his shirt down over his shoulder.

 

“Wait! Are you hurt?”

“What are you talking about?” Alexander said ignoring his new vote of silence because of the preoccupied tone in Lauren’s voice.

“That scar, you didn’t have it.”

“Of course I did. I was stab a month ago, I fell from my horse and was almost killed if it weren’t for you, and you took me over your own horse and carried me to the nursery.” He was about to ask him if he didn’t remember, but of course he didn’t.

“Oh shit.” John said tracing the scar with his fingers. “You’re talking serious, isn’t? I have seen you a million times and have never seen this scar before.”

“Because the other Hamilton never was in a war. We might share some things, but we don’t share the war. Then he don’t have this one either.” Alex said raising his pant up, revealing a gruesome old scar on his knee.

 

It was the most horrible he owned, and didn’t like to talk about it because he earned being stupid while trying to steal the British canons. He was younger, and reckless. He wasn’t completely proud, but that action earn him a position with the General Washington.

 

“Who are you?” asked John Laurens looking at Alexander like if he was a completely stranger.

“My name is Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir.” He introduce himself, sighing in relief because for the first time he was sure that someone had believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Living is easy young man, study is harder.  
> I'm back! And I'm so sorry for the wait, but school it is hard, i try to write in my free times (but who I'm kidding? I don't have free time). My last day of school is the 2nd of June, and i need to present tests 'till the 12 of June, which means I'm still busy. But hey! I won't abandon you for ever, i just wanted to let you know whay i'm taking so long to update. I hope you like it! And thank you so so much for taking your time reading an comment, I love every single of you, seriously.   
> If you want to talk (or just fangirl about Hamilton) you cand find me on tumblr as thetimewriter, so feel free to follow me! Kudos to all of you ♥


	5. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Laurens knew everything he had to know about his boyfriend. And the boy standing infront of him, wasn't his.

John Laurens knew everything he had to know about his boyfriend. The first time he slept in the same bed with him was on winter break, they stayed at Hercules’s home and they shared a room. One was supposed to sleep on the floor, but they were watching movies together on the laptop, and then Alexander started to snore and how was Laurens supposed to leave to sleep on the cold floor when Alex was using him as pillow? It was illegal to even move.

That night he took his time watching his best friend. He was constantly staring at him, but in secret, and that night he had time. He watched his long eyelashes, his lips and his neck. He admired the way his chest rised and fell with every breath, how he murmured unknown words on his sleep, probably fighting with someone even in his dreams if the burrow on his brow was any indication.

They slept together, in the same bed, every single day after that on the break. They ignored the floor and never told their friends, it was their little secret. Hamilton used John as pillow, and he never complained. John used every one of those nights to learn more about him. He knew the right amount of ‘hey’ it took to wake him, he knew how long Alexander could last in the morning without his coffee (35 minutes), he knew when Alex was about to  start a fight, and knew the exact moment he had an idea because he will clap and smile like a boy on the Christmas morning.

He knew a ton of things about his boyfriend. And he knew those related to his body too. Not just his face, but his hands, the same that had touched him on countless nights following patterns over his chest, he knew his hair, his feet, his legs and back. He had spent days before a relationship started between them imagining how it would feel to touch him in every part of his body, and the moment he could do it he didn’t wasted time. He knew every curve, and every small imperfection on his body.

Because of that, he knew the man standing in front of him wasn’t his friend. A gruesome scar traveled across his shoulder, red and purple like a galaxy. He never had seen something like that. Another scar painted his right leg, starting at his knee and ending above his talon. He had touched that leg, his fingers had traveled sending chills to the boy two weeks ago. That scar wasn’t there before either.

 

“My name is Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir.” Introduced the boy standing in front of him.

 

John thought that this is how Alexander must’ve felt that morning a week ago. He could see the boy and know it was his boyfriend but at the same time something didn’t added. He had the same long hair, the beard, the bright and dark eyes, and the hollow cheeks caused by the horrible diet. And still.

 

“How can this be possible?” John asked.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out for the past week. Now you believe me?”

“How can I not? There’s the possibility that you make yourself those scars.” And the _other_ Alexander was about to discuss, he knew his facial expression to figure that, so he added. “But I know you wouldn’t, you promised you’ll never do it again.”

“I’ll never perform harm to myself. No more.”

“I know.”

 

But did he? This guy, was like his Alexander? Had he lived the same Alexander had lived?

 

“I know this is hard.” _Alex_ said when John took a step away to him. “But we can help each other. I plan to get back to my date, and bring your friend.”

 

 _Your friend._ He meant Alex. His Alex. And for the first time John realized what that meant. Alexander was gone, his best friend was stuck in 1780 in the middle of a war with strangers. His poor boyfriend was in yet another horrible situation, he was brave but how much he could support? Was the people in there nice enough to comfort him? Was there someone Alex could rely on? Someone he could asked for help and asked to be held in the nights like he asked to him when a storm hit? Was he alone? Was there decent coffee to wake him on the morning?

 

“You need to tell me everything about you, and the place you were. I need to know he is safe.”

“John I can assure you my friends will help him, like you and the rest had help me.”

“You don’t understand! He had horrible things in his life! He might not be able to survive this.”

“He is safe.”

“Bullshit!”

 

His Alexander was in trouble, and here he was wasting a whole week ignoring what the other had said. He was a horrible person, and a horrible boyfriend and that was why the life had took Alex from his side, because he didn’t deserved him.

 

“John, calm down. Calm.” Alexander was taking his shoulders in a firm grip, taking him out of his thoughts.

“But how can I? My boyfriend is in the middle of the war, probably having a panic attack in a time where no one knew how to treat one! And without coffee!”

“Hey, just so you know the beverages there are way better than in this time.”

“Jeez, thank God at least he has something decent to drink.” John said sarcastically, like if that was enough to calm his worries.

“But with the ward I don’t know if he’ll be able to get some.” The other Alex said more to himself. John made a stressed sound, Alex held his grip on his shoulders reassuring, just like his would’ve do.

“I can’t believe this is happening. I might throw up.”

“I think is time we talk.” Alexander said looking around him. “Is there a quiet place where we can talk?”

“Quiet in New York?” John laughed. “I don’t think so, but there’s a place.”

 

They went to central park, rested near a tree and then Alexander started to talk. He talked about his life when he was a child, about the Caribbean and the storm, about his mother and uncle.

 

“My Alexander went through the same thing. I even recall the storm that wiped his house, I was a kid too but it was all over the news, a lot of people got together to send aide.”

“Well, we weren’t that lucky. No one knew about the disaster until three years later, and then, no one moved a finger to help. We were just a tiny island, why would anyone wanted to help us?”

 

John thought about it for a second, and could imagined a terrified and younger Alex, crying with his mother, injured for weeks because there would not be enough medicine to attend everyone. Feeling lost and confused for the life he had. His Alex had told him about those nights after the storm, about how his mother would sang and stroke his hair, about how she left on the nights doing scandalous things just to get them more money so they could live well the next day. He took Alex’s hand, but immediately stopped touching him. He wasn’t his boyfriend, and touch him like that would be cheating.

 

“She sang to me. My mother.” Alex said and a hurt expression filled him, it was because John’s rejection or because of the memory? “She did it the night she passed. I was thirteen.”

“She contracted swin flu, isn’t?”

“I don’t know.” Alex said looking passed John towards the sky. “It was fever, a horrible one. I’ve never felt more scared in my life.”

 

His boyfriend said the same thing with watering eyes. This time John took his hand and didn’t let go. He was just a friend helping another friend. Alex continued talking, about how he got to King’s college and continued his education. His Alex went to a similar thing, he got himself a scholarship and came to New York to study at the Columbia University, that’s where he met him.

 

“Your friends…how did you met them?”

“In a pub.” He said laughing. “I was there with Aaron Burr, and there they were, this loud and drunk group of people talking about the revolution. I spend the rest of the night with them, we clicked, like you say. I can’t remember where Arron went after that, or I can’t remember how much I drank, but I can remember I feel good for the first time since my mother died.”

 

The similarities were scary, except for the part of the revolution everything was the same. He had met Alex in a bar, they drank and talked like madmen. It was like they had knew each other for ever. Alexander continued with the story, he talked about joining the militia, about how he stole the canons and about joining George Washington, and that’s where the similarities ended.

 

“We were camping, we had been attacked and were regaining forces when I woke here.” Alex ended his talk taking a pause to breath.

“Who was with you?” John said, really meaning who was with his Alex the moment he opened his eyes.

“Gilbert and John shared the tent with me.” He said, Gilbert being Laf. “Gilbert was there when I started to doze off, Laurens was with the other soldiers drinking but he would be back later.”

“How is the relationship you have with them? Will they help my Alex?” or would they burned him like a witch? Was that the time of witch hunts? He was regretting his bad knowledge of history right now.

“They’re my closest friends. I would die for them, and I like to think they would do the same for me. I know them briefly, but my feelings towards them are immense.”

“You love them.”

“Hugely.” Alex said with a sad smile on his face. “I missed them horribly. We were at war, and were constantly separated, I could spend weeks without a letter from them, and I wasted endless nights thinking the worst, were they dead? Captive?” This time he pinned his gaze over John. “If you feel the same way about your Alex as I do about my friends, then I know how concerned you must feel. But I can tell you that my friends love me too, and they are going to protect your Alex too.”

 

This Alexander spoke about love, but with a different meaning. It wasn’t carnal love nor affectionate one. It was a different kind of love, and somehow more powerful too, it was admiration, comrade, a strong link formed in horrible circumstances. A bond formed in a time where small disagreements where ignored because they might not have time to forgive if something happened to any of them.

 

“He might be in an awful place, compared to here. But he have good company.”

“Thanks.”

 

They sat like that for a couple of minutes, holding hands, but again it was like friends and not lovers. The sun was about to set down, and the dim light touched Alex's face. He could hear Alexander think and it was funny because he did the same thing his boyfriend did when was about to ask something uncomfortable, he shacked his left leg and furrowed his brow.

 

“Just spit it out.”

“What?” he said confused.

“Ask what you are trying to ask.”

“Ok! So you said that Alexander is…you know. Your boyfriend?”

He forgot he said those words. Had he? Probably.

“Is pretty new. No one knows about it, we were discussing about make it public, and then this happened.” Alex was shacking his leg again. “Say it.”

“How?” He shacked his head trying to clear his thoughts. “How did you knew…? You know.”

“That I love him?” John asked and the boy blushed, and John was damned because he was as cute as his Alexander, and this was the moment he would kiss him. But he couldn’t. “I don’t know. I just did. I loved being around him.” And why was he talking in past time? “I enjoy being with him, and hearing him talk. I love to hear his laugh. It piss me off when he skipp meals and when he lie about his sleeping routines. But I love him despise that. I can’t explain.”

 

Alexander took that time to realize they were still holding hands. Let go of John to accommodate his hair, which was perfectly tied in a bun, and didn’t get back to touch John.

 

“Did you? Love your Laurens?”

“How am I going to know?” he said laughing.

 

John’s heart skipped a beat. That was the same thing his Alex had said when John confessed his feelings, ‘do you like me? Not just like a friend?’ he had asked, throwing his fears out the window, ‘How am I going to know?’ Alex had asked.

 

“Does your heart beat the same rhythm when you’re with him? Or it plays a different melody, one that matched his own heart?” he asked, the same way he did to his Alex. “Does your breath became shallow when he gets close to you? Does your mind picture the two of you alone and…?”

“I kissed him!” Alexander said turning red. “I kissed him. We were at the medical tent, after I was injured, he was about to leave to Jersey and I had to kiss him or my heart will explode. I wasn’t thinking straight, but he, he kissed me back. It was wrong and we never talked about it either. If anyone had found us. I can’t even think what they had done to us.”

 

John ached for this boy, a boy who held his heart in his hands but had to protect it because it could be smashed because of the circumstances. He was in love with a boy he couldn’t have. Not for the first time he thanked God for putting him in a world where he could be happier. He didn’t knew how he could survived without expressing his love to his boyfriend.

 

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s why this is so difficult.” He said pointing the two of them. “You look at me like I wish he did in front of the people, and you touch me like he would do only if we were alone. And I miss him so bad. And I’m afraid my heart make me do things I would hate the rest of my days.”

“I understand.” John said and to make his point clear he stand up, making distance between Alex and him. “I won’t touch you intimately, I will help you to get back to your place. And you know what? Once you’re back there you will grab your John and kiss him hard, you will take him by the hair and fuck everyone that gets against to. Is your life, and what is a life without love?”

Alex smiled and brushed furiously. “By the hair?” he asked, and John laughed.

“I bet he likes it.”

Alex blushed even more so. He was painfully beautiful, John had to tear his eyes from him. He had made a promise, not just to this Alexander, but to his too.

“Sorry, I forgot how you old people can get when talking about these matters.”

“I’m not old!” Alex said again indignant. He stood too and was looking across the park, probably thinking about everything they said. “He’ll be fine.” Said once more and John thanked him.

 

He could acted relaxed, but in reality he was dying with anxiety. Every second was another second of his boyfriend in a dangerous place.

 

“Thank you, for believe me.” Alex said, nervously playing with the sleeves of the sweatshirt.

“Sorry for taking my time doing so.”

“So now what?”

 

John went for his cellphone, dialed and waited for the other line to be responded.

 

“Now, we convince the rest of the forces.”

 

**…**

 

John Laurens knew everything he had to know about his dearest friend. He knew the bags under his eyes were still there, knew the nervous shaking of the left leg and knew the burrow on his brown while sleeping. And he knew that the man standing in front of him wasn’t his Alexander.

The boy was talking with the rest of the soldiers, he was moving his hands with energy and his words were filled with the same determination. But he wasn’t _he_. Everyone absorbed every word and nodded with agreement. Alexander kept talking, his voice gaining confidence with every word and everyone cheered at the motivational words. No one noticed something was different. But he did.

All the men started clapping and screaming while dispersing over the camp to accomplish the missions of their colonel. The boy walked towards John and Lafayette, the two of them were watching from a distance. The boy melted into a nervous boy in front of them, all trail of the colonel evaporated.

 

“How was I?” he asked.

“Vous étiez incroyable, chérie.” Lafayette said patting Alex’s head with affection.

“Really?” the boy asked staring at John for confirmation.

“I couldn’t tell a difference, dear.” He said smiling when the boy smiled. He had the same smile that could bright even the darkest night.

“I was so nervous! I can’t believe I did it.”

“You’ll have to do it more than once, cher ami.” Laf said.

“I know, but now I’m more confident. I know I can do it.”

 

John knew it too. They told the whole camp that Alexander wasn’t feeling good, but a week had passed and they couldn’t keep lying. The general Washington was starting to get angry and that’s why they decided it was about time for Hamilton to make an appearance. John was nervous, at any moment anyone could’ve point at him and said something didn’t seemed right. But no one did, and part of that was because of the great acting from this Alexander. The boy was as smart as his Hamilton.

The boy was a genius and that’s why Washington didn’t thought something was wrong. The boy had ideas about how to win the war, according to him he had read dozens of books about the war they were currently facing, and that gave them leverage. Washington wasn’t aware about the future thing, just Lafayette and he knew.

The boy came from the future. And his Hamilton was there. It was still difficult to stomach, but it wasn’t difficult to believe. Even if the boy was the same, he didn’t use the sword like Hamilton did, didn’t talked with the same words even if he talked all the time, didn’t knew how to properly ride a horse or how to polish his sword.

 

“Now what?” he asked leaning close to John.

 

John had noticed the boy did that a lot, and after the talk they had the last night he wondered, yet again, how would be to live where they could touch in front of the people without fear. Alex had talked about his era, without omitting part of his personal life. John was still burning from the pictures he had conjured on his head.

The morning this Alex woke, like a scare animal he had wondered if this was the punishment the Catholics were always talking about. Was this a punishment for taking advantage of Hamilton while he was injured? Hamilton never talked about the subject, and was probably disgusted at him. For that reason, when he found out that his friend was gone he thought it was a punishment from God. But then he had a talk with the boy, and he couldn’t stop thinking if the feelings from his friend towards him were the same as the feeling this Alex had about his friend, or if that was another discrepancy between the two Hamilton.

 

“Alex.” He said when the boy was dangerously close.

“Sorry, I keep forgetting.” Hamilton said moving far from him.

“I told John about something that could, how do you say it? nous donner une avance?” Laf said ignoring them.

“Give us a clue?” asked Hamilton getting excited instantaneously. And no for the first time John asked himself what would happen if he kissed him, just like he did so many weeks ago? But he couldn’t.

“Oui. There’s a woman. People say she can tell the future. No one will openly admit it, but there’s people that had talk to her to know if there’s a chance in this war.”

“A psychic?” Hamilton said, with yet another weird word.

“Like a witch.” John said, clearly skeptical.

“Hey! Everything it’s helpful. I say we should give it an opportunity.” He said clapping his hands excitedly. 

“Then it’s settle. I’ll tell the General we are leaving to gather supplies.” Laf said and disappeared looking for the General.

“Hey. He is fine.” The other Alex said when a silence formed between the two of them, he had been telling him the same every day.

“Thank you.” John said smiling at him, and then regretted it because Alexander smiled too, without any fear of being caught. John cleared his throat and Alex stopped, blushing.

“Sorry. It’s so difficult, you have no idea.”

“It’s because you’re too young. You need to grow up to control yourself.” Laurens said smiling at the indignant face Alex made.

“I’m not young!” He said, and John laughed.

The boy kept his outraged face for a couple of seconds before giving him a reassuring smile.

“He’ll be back, and then you can make him smile like you want to.”

“It is not that easy, young Alexander.” Hamilton ignored the nickname.

“It’s not?” he asked. “Love is as easy as breathing.”

Maybe in the future it is, he was tempted to say, but he didn’t. Was as easy as he said?

“Come one, little lion. We have a witch to encounter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you for reading and commenting in this story!  
> And to celebrate that I passed my most difficult class this semester I bring you another chapter! Even though I know no much happened in this chapter.   
> But again, thank you for keep reading!


	6. Raise a glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know what? I feel exhausted. I can’t seem to think of any good idea to even start to figure this out.” John said standing. “So I propose this. We get drunk today, we drink and drink and tomorrow we start investigating. For real this time.” He added with a shy look towards Alex.

“Merde” said Lafayette pouring the beer down his throat.

Alexander and John called Hercules and Lafayette, and the four of them were sitting outside John’s dorm. There was a party going down so the whole building was empty, for some reason they didn’t feel like getting inside the small room, and the hallway was wide and fresh air was coming from an open window at the end of it.

Lafayette was the first to react to what John had said. Alex only showed his scars, the same way he showed them to John. Hercules looked like he could throw up at any second and Alexander wondered for a brief moment if they should stop drinking.

“Are you ok?” Hercules asked pointing at Alex’s scar on the leg.

“Yeah, the pain was the moment I got it. Now, I don’t even feel it.”

“Shit man, I’m sorry.”

“So you believe me?”

“How can I not?” said moving his beer out of reach. “Those scars are pretty good convincing.”

“Je suis le pire ami jamais.” Lafayette said, he was the only one standing in the corridor. And now he was pacing it moving his beer with every word. Drops of the alcohol reached the floor and Alex was about to ask him to stop it before the whole floor was covered in beer. “J'aurais dû savoir! Je suis desolé mon petit lion.”

“Vous ne devez pas être désolé. Comment pourriez-vous avoir connu?” Said Alex standing up to comfort Laf.

“Can we speak in English, please?” asked Hercules watching the whole interaction from the floor.

“Sorry, the shock makes me speak in French.”

The four of them took another drink. John was the most quiet of them, something that was odd. Lafayette was still pacing the corridor and Hercules seemed lost in his own thoughts. The four of them looked so sad that Alex was starting to regret telling them. If he was sad, why should he sink the others with him?

“Shit. This means Alex is there isn’t?” Hercules broke the silence staring at John, the boy only nodded looking straight to his beer. “Shit.”

“Mon petit won’t last a day there. There wasn’t shampoo on those times, or cellphones.” Lafayette said finally stopping in front of them. “I bet they didn’t even had electric light!” he sounded so scandalized that Alex would have laugh, but not in this circumstances.

“You fail history, isn’t?” Hercules tried, and fail, to reach for his forgotten beer.

“Alexander would be fine, my friends will help him.”

“But how can you be sure of that?” This one was Hercules. “Look how long it took us to believe you! And we’re the ones living in the future where things like internet and planes exist.”

“Exactly! You live with all those things and when something out of the ordinary came you neglected it, because how could be possible to happen? After all, all the impossible is already documented. Where I came from we are still hoping for the extraordinary.”

“Meaning that we cannot be surprised anymore.”

“You can talk with someone only with the touch of a button!” Alexander exclaimed. “You know how long it takes to receive a letter? You have the internet and you don’t seem surprised by it at all.”

“Let’s get back on topic. How sure you are that your friends are helping Alex?”

It was Hercules the one who asked but the other two boys turned to Alex to hear the answer. Alexander, obviously, couldn’t be completely certain. But he trusted his friends more than anyone in the world, and furthermore he had the feeling that they will be taking care of Alex. Or at least, would be trying to find a way to send him back, so they could get Alexander back.

 “As sure as I am that you will take care of me too.”

They drank to that.

“So now what?” Hercules asked the one question everyone was formulating in their heads.

“You know what? I feel exhausted. I can’t seem to think of any good idea to even start to figure this out.” John said standing. “So I propose this. We get drunk today, we drink and drink and tomorrow we start investigating. For real this time.” He added with a shy look towards Alex.

“Tomorrow, uh? After we get over with the hangover?” Hercules was looking at his beer, like if the mere thought of drink repelled him.

“Shouldn’t we, y’know?  Better start working?” asked Laf staring at his can too, but Alex suspected that the beer was already empty.

“Alexander?” asked John.

And Hamilton thought of it. He was waiting for this moment for a week. He wanted to get into action, he wanted to feel like he was making process towards his plan to get back. A small part of his brain told him that his friends weren’t helping at all, and know they were ready to put everything aside to start working. But Alex didn’t feel like working now, he was aching to just lose himself away from his own thoughts. For a week the only he could think of was about solutions, he filled two notebooks already of his investigation, and another one of his doubts about what was happening in 1780.

“I want to get drunk.” He finally said and John smiled at him.

“Then I’ll need another one, S'il vous plait.”

And just like that everyone took another beer and drank.

 

**…**

 

Alex have never drank as much as in that moment. His head was spinning and he thought, for a brief second, that maybe the beer here was different from the one in his time. He cheered with the rest of the soldiers, they keep giving him glasses of beer, again and again. One of them toast on Alex behalf, and then another, and another. Alexander lost count of how many of them toast, and how many didn’t took a no for answer when Alex said he didn’t need another glass.

“Mon petit lion, you were sick, and now you’re not. You should drink.” Laf said beside him, he was getting red in the face because of the beer. The soldiers have toast in his behalf too, but contrary to Alex he never rejected a glass.

“You know I wasn’t…”

“Raise a glass Alex.” This was John. Beautiful John. His cheeks were red and his freckles stood out more than ever. “For your success early today.”

That was a toast he couldn’t deny, and how could he when John was the one making it? So he drank.

 

**…**

 

“Can I ask something maybe a little bit private?” asked Lafayette leaning to Alex. Laf was getting more drunk than the rest of the boys and he was leaning over Alexander because he couldn't keep standing on his own.

“You already ask how he wiped his butt.” Said John laughing hysterically, and Alex couldn’t be sure if it was because of the beer, the question or Alex answer moments ago.

“Shush. My question is… how you prevent to get a girl pregnant?”

Alex was already red because of the alcohol, but the question got him redder. Hercules and Lafayette laughed in unison.

“You are so easy to floster.”

“You mean fluster.” John said, still laughing.

They all raised their beers at that, even if it wasn’t a toast or anything like that.

“I’m not so easy.” Alex insisted once his beer was done. He was halfway aware of the beer stains over his shirt or that he was next not only of Laf but also next to John.

“Oh but you are. Tell me, how you prevent to get a girl pregnant?” Asked Laf for a second time, this time asking directly in Alex ear, making his whole body tremble.

“Oh you should better tell us if you have tried to get a girl pregnant.” Hercules intervened, oblivious of the way John, Alex and Laf were tangled. “Are you virgin Alex?”

Alexander was even redder, and the three boys laughed once more.

 

**…**

 

“Mulligan!” said John when the man walked in the pub.

Hercules Mulligan wore the biggest smile on his face, almost lightheaded. It was the first time Alex saw him since he arrived. He was just like his friend, tall with broad shoulders and ridiculous muscles, but the difference with him and his Mulligan was that this one walked like he owned the place. He clasped hands with other soldiers, clinched his glass when someone raise their glass towards him. His Mulligan, even if he wasn’t shy, was more serious around people and seemed to be himself only when they were the four of them alone.

“I see you started without me!” he grinned taking a seat next to Laf, the French recoiled from him.

“You stink, mon cher.”

“Of what?” Alex asked leaning to sniff him, something he would’ve never dare if not for the beer.

“Sex and horses.” John said with a grin matching the smile of Hercules.

“You had sex over a horse?” asked Hamilton and his three friends laughed attracting the attention of the rest in the pub. “How does that even work?”

“You don’t want to know.” Said Hercules pouring a whole glass and getting a new one in less than two minutes, or maybe it was more, Alex couldn’t make a sense of time.

“Aren’t you hurt?” asked, his beer forgotten because this was a new subject. He never thought of it like a possibility.

“Are you considering it, mon petit lion?” Laf wanted to know, another goofy smile was on his face and his hands were working on Alex’s hair making wonders.

“If the opportunity is presented…” he knew the alcohol was the one talking because there wasn’t anyone he would like to try it. No one here, anyway.

John gave him a look and Alex immediately returned his attention to his beer.

 

**…**

 

They moved to the dorm. They could barely walk, they were laying in the beds, or in the floor which was Laf case. Hercules started singing a song about barricades, Lafayette laughed for ten seconds and then joined him from the floor, moving his legs in the air with the rhythm. Alex was laying in John’s bed and the boy was playing with Alexander hair, while singing something about one day more. They all cheered when Lafayette reached an absurd note.

 

**…**

 

They kept drinking inside the tent. John told Hercules about Alex and the tailor laughed for a whole minute, then he clapped Alex on the back.

“I was starting to think why our captain was so confuse about having sex over a horse.”

Lafayette laughed with this and John seemed as confused as Alex was.

“Hamilton was the one who told me how to do that.” Hercules finally said winking.

“No sex over horses where you came from, uh Mon cher?” asked Lafayette, he was sprawled over Hamilton’s chair with a cup of wine in his hand and the other one struggling with his jacket to get it off.

“Only over desks.” He said feeling chattier than before. He was looking at John trough all his speech, feeling get red with every word, memories coming on his mind without permission. “I don’t know how uncomfortable must feel to do it over a horse, but let me tell you that do it in a desk is awful as well, is cold and you forget about the things over him and they can get incrusted on your skin.”

“That should be a problem for the lady you brought with you then.” Mulligan said absently moving the cup of wine on his fingers.

John laughed at that and Alex did it too.

 

**…**

 

It was awfully hot. Laf had already tore his shirt off, Hercules was snoring from his bed. Lafayette joined Alex and John on the small bed, they were so close to each other that Alex forgot where he started and where he ended. Lafayette was playing with Alex fingers while asking.

“Is it a man or a woman?” John was listening quietly, still playing with Alex’s hair, lost in his own thoughts.

“Man.”

“Is he alive?”

“Not even real.” Hamilton answered and was reprimanded by Lafayette with a pinch on the palm of his hand.

“You can’t give me clues!”

“Sorry.”

“Ok, so is he from a book?”

“A play.” This time the reprimand came from John, who tug at Alex’s hair making him yelp.

“Sorry! I don’t know how to play this.”

“Shush mon ami.” Laf said, his voice getting quieter and quieter with every word. “Is he a lord?”

"Macbeth" John whispered only to Alex, and he was right.

  

**…**

 

It was hot. Even then none of them took their shirts off, they only removed their jackets. Alex’s clothes were itching. John was beside him playing with Hercules with a little ball. Lafayette was sitting over the desk now, drinking his fourth, or maybe fifth glass of wine.

“Am I hot there too?” he asked.

“What?” Alexander felt like he had to walk a mile just to get his words out of his mouth. His eyes felt heavier than ever, and he couldn’t keep standing, he went to sit next to Laf over te desk.

“Votre ami Lafayette est aussi sexy? comme moi-même?”

Alexander was vaguely aware of the weird topic, it shouldn’t be a common topic here, isn’t? Speak so freely about the hotness of a friend. But he wasn’t thinking straight.

“Oui.” He said.

 

**…**

 

Almost everyone was sleeping, except for him and the boy licking his lips.

 

**…**

 

He wasn’t a whore, he didn’t kissed anyone who asked. But it had been a while since he kissed anyone, and the night was hot, the lips were cold and the tent dark.

 

**…**

 

“How much you drank las night?” A voice asked, incredible loud in the small room.

Alexander squinted his eyes and tried to make sense of the figure, or figures, on the room. They were females, alright, and they were wearing incredible eye-hurting clothes, dresses. A yellow one, a blue one and a pink. It should be illegal to wear those colors near of someone as drunk as Hamilton.

“Angelica, if you don’t shut up I promise I will throw my pillow against you.” John grunted beside Hamilton, at some point of the night he lose his shirt and his pants.

“I doubt you can even raise your arm, less to strike me.” Angelica said as a matter of fact.

“Why are you screaming, belle, mais en colère dame?” Laf asked, he was sprawled at the feet of the bed, he wasn’t wearing his shirt either but he was wearing his pants, even if they were inversed.

“You really drink a lot.” Eliza said from the threshold, she was the one wearing blue so Peggy must be the one in yellow. Hamilton wanted to scream at the younger Schuyler for her choice of color.

“Is that how you plan to find a way to help Alexander?”

That made everyone open their eyes to look at the Schuylers, even Hercules who had seemed to be asleep during the whole conversation.

“To help me?” Alex said trying to sit in the bed, and failing when his brains seemed to hit against his scalp.

“You said, and I quote ‘if you don’t help me I’m personally going to bring your family to the ruin’”.

“We knew you were joking.” Eliza added.

“We were laughing actually, you stuttered for three minutes during the whole threat actually.” Peggy said laughing, and all the boys closed their eyes at the sound.

“We are not here because of your ridiculous threat, but because of the scars.” And the three girls were looking at Hamilton’s shoulder, and he realized for the first time that he was shirtless too.

“So it’s really true.” Eliza said bringing a hand over his mouth.

“Let me sleep!” Hercules groaned and took a pillow on his hands, the girls went stiff for a second, thinking that the boy would’ve make John’s treat, but instead Hercules used it to bury himself under it.

“We will let you sleep for two hours more, and then we’re leaving.” Angelica said, again, as a matter of fact.

“To where?” John asked closing his eyes again, losing interest the moment he stopped talking, but that didn’t seemed to care to the girls.

“We need to make sure Alex is well. We’re going with a psychic.” Peggy said and his tone of voice was as irritable as his dress. Bright as the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My english is horrible and my french is worse, I can't believe i'm doing this. Thanks for your kudos!  
> And here is the french of this chapter:  
> Je suis le pire ami jamais.- I am the worst friend ever.  
> J'aurais dû savoir! Je suis desolé mon petit lion.- I should have known! I'm sorry my little lion  
> Vous ne devez pas être désolé. Comment pourriez-vous avoir connu?.- You should not be sorry. How could you have known?  
> S'il vous plait.- Please  
> Votre ami Lafayette est aussi sexy? comme moi-même?.- Your friend Lafayette is sexy? like myself?


	7. The seer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander and company met a seer, hopefully she wont be a fraude and they will finally found what is going on.

Alexander learned a couple of things about this experience. He learned how to use a gun, how to clean it and how to be sure it won’t fire at any undesirable second. He learned how to piss hiding behind a tree or bushes. He learned how to ride a horse and how to calm him down if a loud noise came to them. Off all the things he learned he cherished one thing above the rest, he learned to never drink if he would be riding the next day.

Ride a horse was the absolutely worst, especially if the road consisted of rocks and holes in the ground, if the horse was in a bad mood and if the raider had the worst hangover of the existence. Every step the horse made was like a death sentence for Hamilton. His head was spinning and his throat hurt like hell, he kept his eyes closed and was praying his friends were taking an eye of him or he would end up falling down a cliff, because there was no way he would open them with the sun so high in the sky. He wanted to throw up.

“It’s a beautiful day! Isn’t?” asked the marquis cheerfully in a horse next to Alexander.

“Are you serious?” asked John at the other side of Alex. He wasn’t in good shape either.

“It’s the first bright day since almost a week!” Lafayette went on ignoring the grunts coming from his friends. “You didn’t noticed, my little lion, because you were too busy having an attack, but it been raining so much that I was considering to build an ark.”

“Fine, it’s a sunny day, we all got it. Can you please, stop screaming?” Alex asked, with what he had hoped was his calm tone.

“Why? You don’t like my voice, bright in the morning!” he screamed in Alex’s ears and he was about to fell from the horse if it wasn’t for Hercules, who put his hand on his shoulder to steadied him.

“Seriously man, you gave us that horrible French wine and now you torture us?” Mulligan asked from his horse not so far from Alex now that he was holding him.

“It’s not my fault that you American can’t resist the best of France.”

With that he apart from them to ride faster, the remaining trio just sighed relieved of his absence.

“Is he like this where you came from?” John asked closing his eyes while massaging his head, which only made Alex wanting to stroke his hair.

“No. He’s the worst at drinking. He once throw out over fucking Jefferson, that was the best night of my whole drunk life.” He said laughing remembering how mad Jefferson was, and how he fell from his chair when Laf tried to throw at him again.

“Jefferson? I know I’m still a bit drunk, but should I know the name?”

“Literally, I don’t have any idea my Laurens.”

“And what about me? I’m a good at kissi-drinking?” He asked blushing for what he almost said, blushed John Laurens was the best kind of Laurens, in Hamilton opinion.

“You’re not that bad.” Alex said winking at him, because his head was still heavy from the drinking.

“And me?” Asked Mulligan interrupting the-flirting? - Of the guys.

“Oh you’re good, you just sleep early. That’s all.”

“Then we’re alike, don’t we?”

“Yes, the only difference I could tell is that you are way louder than my Mulligan.”

“Because how can I not be loud when there’s a lot of noise around here all the time! Someone need to speak louder.”

“No, no one needs it, especially not now. If you want to be loud please go with the marquis.” Lauren groaned closing his eyes once more.

Hercules laughed but he too quick his pace to meet Lafayette, leaving Laurens and Alexander alone. 

“So, not that bad?”

“Are you still asking me about the drinking or…?”

“What do you think?” John asked, his faces was as red as the sun and it hurt just the same. How he missed his own Laurens.

“You need to practice how to kiss a man.”

“You really can’t be discreet, don’t you?”

“Hey! You’re the one who asked me about how you kiss. Actually I’m surprise, sir.”

“I’m drunk, that’s why. I’ll be regretting this conversation in a couple of hours.”

“Well let me tell you something so you won’t regret it completely. You’re not that bad, my Jon was awful, a lot of tongue and not in a good way.” Alex had to stop just o laugh at the expression of his friend. “But! He learned, I’m good teacher, especially when there’s a mouth involve.”

“Forget the hours, I’m regretting it now.”

“What I’m trying to say, is that if your Alex didn’t like you before, he surely does now that you kissed him.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, you can make wonder with your tongue sir.” Alex teased him moving his eyebrows in what he expected was a funny way and not in a disturbing way.

“Jesus, you’re horrible! I can’t believe any Jon Laurens could fall in love with you.”

“Believe it my dear Laurens, because he’s completely in love with me.”

“How do you know?”

“How am I going to know?” Alex answered remembering when he used those same words. “I just feel it, right here.” He was cheesy pointing his heart, but he didn’t care, especially not when Jon nodded like if that was the answer he needed it.

“Are you going to keep talking and walking like turtles or will you ride!” screamed Mulligan a couple of foots in front of them.

“Vous êtes les gens les plus paresseux que je connais, et je sais que Charles Lee” Lafayette shouted from his horse and a smirk on his face.

“Can you translate? All my years learning French won’t be of any use while I have alcohol on my veins.” Laurens said, sitting on his horse in a more firm way.

“I’m afraid I’m just like you, my dear Laurens. But I heard something about Charles Lee and if he’s trying to compare me with him I’ll make sure he won’t be able to speak loud anymore.”

With a last laugh the two went to join the rest of his friends.

It was night when they reached a small town, boy of all ages, heights and complexions got closer to talk to them, some of them wanted to know nest about the war, other wanted to know about their familiars, or some even wanted to join the army. Women got close too, with as many propositions as the men had done, there were offer to a place where to sleep, where to eat and where to satisfy their needs. Hercules was the more sad when they had to reject the girls. 

“Just for a couple of hours.” He insisted when they said no the fifth girl.

“You take more than an hour Mulligan.” John said, his voice and face clearer now that the he sweat the alcohol.

“That’s why I said a couple” he insisted looking at a couple of girls giggling near a bakery.

“Eyes on us, mon cher.” Lafayette interrupted. “We have a mission, vous souvenez-vous pas?”

“I know. But then you’ll have to find me a girl like that, alright?”

“I will find you the most exquisite girl of this town as a reward Mulligan.” Alex said. He was sad because of the girls too, but he knew he couldn’t make a move if he wanted, but it have been ages since he laid with a girl, the last one being Eliza, and he missed the long legs and soft breast, and now they were in front of him without any barrier except their corsets.

“What about me?” John and the marquis asked in unison.

“If everything goes well, I’ll find entertainment for everyone.”

Laf cheered and Laurens got close to Alex.

“We’ll find some answers.”

“Hopefully.”

John put his hand over Alex’s shoulder and left it there more than it was necessary. Alex didn’t mind.

 

After twenty minutes they found the place they were looking for. A small hostel with no windows and lots of flowers and candles piling next the walls and the door. The flowers looked creepy at the dim light of the candles, and some of them were so old that were almost as black as the door.

 

“You sure it’s here?”

“Doesn’t scream witch to you?” was the answer of Lafayette to Alex.

He have never met a witch before, and the only kind of wizard he cared was Harry Potter, and a bunch of dead flowers wasn’t the style of J.K Rowling when describing wizard’s homes.

“Come one, we came from a long way.”

They left their horses in a different hostel, were they eat and rested a little. Alexander have been waiting for this moment since he woke up in this place, but now he felt scared, what if there wasn’t any explanation for what had happened? Or what if his life, was just a dream and he was in reality Alexander Hamilton, general in the American Revolution? He was scare, more than he has ever been.

“Knock” Laurens told him and Alex did that, or was about to when the door opened and a women showed up. She was old, had white hair and was blind, her eyes were crystalized, she was holding a candle and a pencil on her other hand.

“Finally you’re here, your friends are very worried about you Alexander.”

 

**…**

 

“I’ll need to hold hands.” The women said the exact moment Alex knock on her door.

“Excuse me?” asked John, he was the one closer to Alex.

“I said you need to hold hands in order to talk with your friends, we will be reaching a place far away and I’ll need all the energy possible.” Said as if that was the explanation they needed.

She turned around and entered the house leaving all of them confused.

“What are you waiting Alexander Hamilton! You won’t win the war if you keep standing on my door.”

“I told you she was real.” Peggy said trying to see, standing on her toes.

“You said that about the last three women we saw.” Eliza said.

“I must admit number two was pretty convincing.” Hercules added, they all remembered the woman number two, and Alexander must admitted she was a very good actress.

“And a charlatan.” Angelica refuted.

“But this one is right! She said Alex was in a war.” Peggy exclaimed jumping on her toes. 

For a whole week they had been looking for a psychic who could help Alexander and they were about to give up when Peggy said she found the right woman, apparently Maria Reynold went to her when she had a dream about her dead boyfriend and the woman contact him. Not that they needed to talk with a ghost. But it was better than nothing. Angelica and Alexander were exhausted of all the read they have made, looking for a solution. 

“Let’s go then.” Alexander accepted and passed the threshold. 

The house was bare, the wall were grey, there weren’t any portraits or rugs or any other kind of decorations, with the expectation of some flowers, here and there in what appear to be random places to be placed, like over a sofa, under a chair and next to the television.

“I’m here, second door at your right.” The woman said from the room said.

The room was just like any room in a horror movie was, with a round table and a white mantel over it. There were some carot cards over it, but they were pile neatly, there were more flowers in the room too, and again those were in different and weird places. The woman was already sat in one of the chairs, she was blind and had white hair which combined with the mantel and her clothes. Everything was grey, white or black in the room. With the exception of Alexander and his friends. The Schuylers were wearing their colorful dresses again and they shone on the room. 

“How did you knew Alexander name?” John asked taking the seat next to the woman.

“How can I know you name too John Laurens? Because I know things! Now sit down and let me do my job.”

“Hi, my name is Peggy and I’m so excited to meet a real seer.”

“I know, and I know your real name is Margarita, so please sit down my dear. And you Angelica stop searching for cameras or wires, you won’t find anything here my dear, I’m a real seer and I’m willing to help you.”

“Why?” Alex asked, talking to her for the first time.

This time the woman gave him her full attention, and not like the other when she was staring straight ahead, this time she had her eyes on Alexander face.

 “Because you don’t belong here, my dear. And if you don’t go away I’m afraid someone will die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long! But i'm back and mi intention is to wrap this fics as soon as possible. So tomorrow i'll have next chapter probably. Hope you like it! Love your kudos and coments, those make me smile like you have no idea. Love you ♥


	8. Are you ready?

Alexander prepared himself for this moment like a maniac, he watched almost every movie related with seers with Peggy, he read almost ten books about psychics and with Angelica’s help he took notes about how the whole experience will be. He even let Hercules talk about the experience he had when little, supposedly his mother contact his dead grandfather with the help of a psychic and found out that way that his husband was cheating on her. He took the idea very serious, so it was comprehensible to be skeptical when the woman started talking with herself in not a very supernatural way.

“What do you mean my hair is ugly? Your hair is ugly Meredith, you probably haven’t combed that nest since I last talk to you!”

John and Alex shared a look. They were hoping to finally get some answers, after all the woman seemed convincing, knowing his name and his purpose. Alex and all his friends were sitting on the table, with their hands linked and identical confused faces. The woman said someone was going to die if Alex stood there, but immediately started talking like if another person were in the room, and not the mystical kind of person.

“Don’t critique my decoration style, you can’t get rid of dead flowers.” The woman waited. “Oh yeah sure, because they bring a lot of good vibes. You are just lazy.”

“Excuse me.” Angelica interrupted, she was holding the hands of Hercules and Eliza and the two of them wanted to laugh.

“Yeas dear?” The eyes of the woman were unnerving, completely white, and they were focused on Angelica, and for the first time Alexander saw Angelica nervous.

“Who are you talking to?”

“With myself of course!” she said and tore her attention from Angelica. “Yes I’m talking with them now, the Schuylers are here of course. How are the guys doing? You should talk with them before they decide a whore is a better way to spend their time.”

“Yourself?” this time was John the one who interrupted.

“You know what Meredith?” The woman said ignoring John. “Let me talk with these people and then I’ll talk to you, ok? In five minutes will be okay?” She waited for a couple of seconds and then stop her grip on Alex and John. “You have no idea of what’s going on, isn’t?” the question was directed at Hamilton.

“No, sir, ma’am.”

“Call me Meredith.”

“Meredith, I was hoping to get some answers from you, ma’am.”

“My dear Alexander, you’re in a pretty bad situation. I’m afraid I don’t know all the answers myself, but I can tell you what I know. And the rest of you, please be quiet while I’m talking, and I’m talking to you marquis.”

Lafayette was about to say something but Peggy pressed his hand with more force than necessary.

“Alright. When I was your age my master decided it was time to sell me to a better man. My mom cried and she did a brave but stupid thing, she slapped our master, took his knife and set me free. I never saw her again, but I knew she was dead. A week later I was trying to survive, a girl like myself didn’t have any chance, three more days and I’ll probably be dead. Then I woke up here. In new York city, almost three hundred years in the future.”

“Like you.” Eliza said to Alex.

“Yes, like him. Obviously I was scared, and so happy. A place where someone like me wasn’t being sold? Where I could get job, and education?” the woman was smiling. “I couldn’t believe my luck. Then, almost a year later I started having dreams of me, in my right time. But in those dreams I talked differently, and I tried to survive confused about everything. I realized that the girl on my dreams was the other Meredith, a Meredith that lived in this New York and was swapped to my time period.”

“That’s horrible.” This time it was Peggy, but Meredith didn’t seemed to care to be interrupted.

“It was. She sensed me too. After almost five years we found a way to communicate, first in our dreams, then with other ways. Like what I was doing minutes ago.”

“Wait.” Alexander said. “You said this happened when you were my age, does this meant you never found your way back?”

“Oh no my dear! We found the way, twenty years later, but we did. But it was too late, each one of us made a life in our new periods. I found love in here, she did too. My memories of that time become blurry, I no longer remember what it felt to be slashed, or humiliated by my masters. It was ages ago. And she forgot her life too. She lost her family in an accident, lost her scholarship and was about to commit suicide, and that new life saved her. It is a horrible time period, especially for someone like her but she had assure me it was worth it.”

“Wait.” Hercules interrupted. “You haven’t explained why you said someone was going to die.”

“When I and Meredith tried to found a way to talk to each other, let’s say we got some interest gifts. I can see things, and she can hear things. That’s how we knew you were swapped, we heard you. And then we saw dead, connected to you. Unless you go back, someone is going to die.”

“This swapped.” Eliza interrupted the abrupt silence it was created. “Helped you, somehow.”

“Yes, I’m still searching for the why, and how, as I’m sure you have been searching. But Meredith and I reached to the conclusion that the universe was trying to help us, why us? We have no idea, but we are grateful.”

“You like the change.” Alexander said.

“Don’t you?”

Alex had to take a moment to think about it. He liked this period of his life? The answer was yes. He like the technology in here, he loved the way the keyboard sound when he was writing on his laptop, he loved the movies and tv show he could watched with just a click. He loved the clothes, the big sweaters and small shorts that made Laurens laugh.

He loved his new friends, not because of the similarities with his old friends but also because of the differences. He loved Angelica and her witty comments, Peggy and her weird theories, Eliza and her sweetest way of talk to Alex. He loved how quiet Hercules was in public but how bright his eyes were when they were alone. He loved Lafayette and his good English, and how he knew exactly what Hamilton was thinking. And above all he loved John Laurens. 

He loved John the most. Not because he was Laurens, the love of his life and the reason what the sun was brighter and the moon prettier. But because he was a shy guy from North Carolina who liked to cuddle and play with Alex’s hair, because he was a guy terrified of expressing his feeling, he had his heart on his hands and the most honest face Alex had ever seen.

“I do.” John was looking at him. “But I love my old life too. And I can’t be here any longer, not when I know they could be in danger. I can’t let them.”

He could see the reaction of his friends, for the first time the possibility of leaving was there, and they weren’t taking it good. They knew he couldn’t stay there.

“Alex.” Peggy looked like she could cry.

“How did you get back?” John interrupted looking at Meredith.

That was like a punch on Alex’s stomach. He was being ridiculous. John didn’t want him, he wanted his Alexander and was probably counting the seconds to be reunited with him.

“Yes, how did you get back?” Alexander asked without looking at John, or anyone else.

“That’s the tricky part. The two of you need to”

“To drink a potion at the same time under the full moon? Or maybe kill a goat and drink its blood while singing a weird song? Oh, oh, I know! You need to…what?” Peggy was telling all of this while jumping on her seat.

“This is not a movie.” Angelica told her.

“Actually she’s right.” Meredith told, and everyone turned their attention to her. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh my God, I was already thinking where to find a goat.” Hercules told to no one in particular, clearly relieved. Alexander was laughing, just like John.

“It’s more difficult than that. The two of you need to go back to sleep wishing to be on your right time.”

“Wait, that’s it?” Lafayette, who was being quiet since Meredith warned him almost screamed. “How that can be the answer? I’m sure they have been wishing for that since the first time they were swapped.”

“That’s what you think, but don’t be so sure marquis.” Meredith said taking the cards of the tarot on her hands, just to play with them. “They were swapped for a reason, because the two of them were unhappy on their lives.”

“That’s stupid.” John interrupted, so clearly agitated that he was already red on the face.

“John, don’t be rude.” Eliza, obviously.

“No, don’t tell me I’m rude when this woman is the rude one! Alex was unhappy here? That’s not possible.”

“You can’t know what was on his head all the time, and you know him John. He tried to kill himself, not once or twice.” Eliza tried to take John’s hand but John was busy passing them on his hair.

“What?” Alex asked. He didn’t knew this.

“I think you should talk about that later.” Meredith interrupted taking the hands of the boys again, and this time John acceded. “It’s time to talk with Alex.”

**…**

Meredith explained her experience to the four of them, and Alexander couldn’t believe how she accepted to be here, in a place with no technology, without medicine or good transportation. Especially in a place where people like here were being targeted and slaved just for being born. Meredith talked to Alex alone after seeing the look on Alex’s face.

“I was unhappy there.” She said gently. “As you were.”

“I was not.”

“Are you sure?” she said, but she wasn’t waiting an answer. “I was, and here I found peace. Not at the beginning, obviously. I missed my car, and how easy it was to cook, I missed cigarettes and toilet paper.” She laughed. “But then, I started falling in love with this place, the air, the stars, the trees. I loved more things here than I loved there. I tried to kill myself, you know? I almost jump of the Brooklyn Bridge.”

Alexander closed his eyes at those words. He could remember how the air felt on his hair, how his legs started to trembled and his hands to sweat.

“I never tried to do that here, not even when things got complicated. Life in here was like an adventure. I’m a 1960 woman, I lived in a time where you fought back, and here that’s what I did. I must said I was nineteen but my mind was older, and I outsmarted more than one man.”

“You preferred here, because it made you happier?”

“Yes. And I don’t think I would change my mind ever.”

Alexander had to think about that for a minute, but he couldn’t, at that moment Meredith closed her eyes.

“Are you ready now? You’ve always been so slow at getting things together Meredith.” Meredith opened her eyes and this time talked to Alexander. “They are ready now, are you?”

Alexander nodded and in no time he was in a small room with a round table, he was sitting next to Meredith taking her hand and Lafayette hand. John was taking Meredith’s other hand, and Hercules too. There were more flowers in the room, dead and alive, but they didn’t smell bad.

“Okay, guys. I’m ready. Meredith is at the other side.” Meredith told the guys while closing her eyes.

“Is Alexander there?” John asked and Alex’s hair made a jump at his tone. He missed his Alexander.

Then after a few seconds, after Meredith repeated the question she responded.

“He said he miss his dear Laurens.”

“Oh dear. Tell him, ask him how he is, if he is eating well.”

“He said that he is, and he wants to know about the war.”

“Fuck the war. Tell him that.”

“He laughed.” Meredith was laughing, clearly amused with the interaction. “And he still wants to know about the war.”

Laurens sighed laughing too and started talking about the war in short phrases, Lafayette and Hercules added a few commentaries on their own to fill what Laurens wasn’t saying. The other Hamilton was asking more and more questions, and it was the weirdest thing ever because he used words like Hamilton, but in a way he would never have. He asked about soldiers, about strategies, about England and the king and then he started asking John if he was hurt and the way he used his words, in a very professional way told Alex about how his relation with John was different. No doubt John missed him, he was different to the other Alexander.

“Excuse me.” Alexander interrupted a chat about a war in Yorktown. “Is my John there?”

**…**

Hamilton was crying. He had real tears on his eyes, his friends were alive. He never let himself think about that for all the past days, his new friends didn’t understand it, but he was in the middle of a war, and people didn’t survived. To know his friends were alive, and the war was still going, to know John missed him and Lafayette and Hercules were worried about him was too much to him. And then the other Hamilton asked about John and it was John turn to cry.

Everyone started asking questions at the same time, but Meredith shut them up, screaming at them.

“Just you, freckles.” She told to John and he nodded.

“Tell him that I love him.” John said, he wasn’t crying anymore but his voice creaked. “Tell him I can’t wait to have him on my arms again, that I will buy him any kind of garbage food he wants. Tell him I miss him so much.”

“He said that he loves you more than you, that he want Chinese food and Thai too.” Laurens was laughing now. “He wants to let you know that he cants stop thinking about you.” The Meredith laughed. “Hercules and Lafayette are confused now, I think they don’t know the term of gay.”

Everyone in the room laughed and then it was their turns to talk with Alexander. They asked about everything, Angelica wanted to remind him to eat, Peggy asked him to tell her all about the clothes, Eliza was asking about the other Schuylers, and Alexander said that he haven’t met them, and for the first time Alexander thought about it. When was he supposed to meet them?

“Okay guys, time’s running out. We can’t talk for so long, the connection will break any second now.” Meredith told the group after she asked to the other Alex if he was fine for the fourth time.

“But…”Peggy was about to protest.

“Alexander wants to talk to you, alone.”

“To me?” John asked.

“No, to Hamilton.”

With that everyone left the room, even John, who shared one last look with Alex.

“Hello?” Alexander asked.

“Can we agree this is the weirdest thing that have ever happened to you?” Meredith answered with the other Alex’s words.

“I don’t know, I once saw Hercules trying to have sex over a horse, and that was pretty weird.”

“Don’t even tell me, they explained that to me, and now I can’t see a horse in the same way. Or at Hercules.”

“Yeah, that happens.”

“I can’t believe I’m talking to you. I’ve been thinking about you, a lot. Not in a homo way, though.”

“Really? You didn’t have to clarify that.” Alexander said laughing. I’ve been thinking of you too. I know you’re not in the best place. With the war and the food.”

“Actually, it’s not that bad. I was freaking out the first days, but then, I don’t know. Is good that there isn’t that much food, that way no one pressure me to eat.”

“You like it there?”

He was scared to ask that, and way more scared to hear the answer.

“Do you? I know you like the technology, I mean, who wouldn’t?” Meredith said laughing, probably imitating Alexander. “And the books? Oh! John teach you how to use Netflix? Because that is awesome.”

“I do.”

There was a silence.

“But you want to get back, don’t you?” Alex ask to Meredith/Alex.

“I do. I don’t know why we haven’t changed already.”

“Maybe we are not ready to leave?” Alexander asked tentatively

“If I’m sincere, it’s been a long time since I went to sleep actually wishing to be back.” Meredith/Alex answered. “I hoped to find the solutions, or the reason of this. But not to be back. Do you?”

He thought about it, and was surprised to find that he haven’t think about it either. He wanted to go back, but he sleep thinking about what the other day was going to be, or what he would find, what he would talk with Angelica, or what Lafayette would said.

“We are awful, don’t we?” he asked and the other Alexander agreed.

“You know what? Let’s do it tonight. We are going to say our goodbyes, and then we will be back.” Meredith/Alex proposed.

“Are you ready?”

Then Meredith closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s over. I’m exhausted.”

“No, don’t. You’ve been of a lot of help. Thank you so much Meredith.

A couple of hours later they were in Alex’s and Laf’s dorm room. They were all sitting where they could in the small place. Alexander told them the few things he talked to the other Alexander.

“So this is goodbye?” Asked Peggy, she had her head against Alex’s shoulder.

“I’m going to miss you dude.” Hercules said. “I’m really going to. This suck, it’s like when a friend moves to another place, but this is ten times worse because we can’t talk to you.”

“But can’t we?” Asked Angelica, she had her head on Lafayette’s lap. “Meredith can teach you how to communicate like she does with the other Meredith.”

“It took her almost twenty years, remember?” Alex said petting Peggy’s hair. “You will forget me in twenty years.”

“No.” Eliza told him, she was in Alex’s bed sitting next to John. “How can you think that? You are our friend, we won’t forget you.”

Lafayette, who was over Hamilton’s lap took Alex’s shirt and kiss him on the lips. A quick kiss, not romantically, just like the kiss they shared the night they got drunk.

“To remember me, mon cher. I’ll miss you horribly.”

With that everyone went to kiss Alexander, on his cheeks, on his forehead or even on the lips like Lafayette (Angelica and Eliza kissed him on the lips). John kissed him on his forehead.

They spent the rest of the day laying on the room talking, every now and then one will start to cry and they will try cheer up singing a Disney song, or trying to beatbox and rap.

When the night came the Schuylers left, kissing Alexander once more. Hercules said goodbye too and Lafayette fell asleep almost immediately. 

“He’s sad.” John told Alex. They were cuddling on Alex’s bed in the darkness. “That’s why he feel asleep so fast.”

“I can’t blame him.” 

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes. John was tracing patterns on Alex arm, and was playing with his hair. He was going to miss it, the commodity of it and how causal it was to just be held. 

“I’m going to miss you, you know?” Laurens told Alex. “I’m really going to. This last days I. you.”

“I’m going to miss you too John.”

“And not because you look like him, ok?” John told him. He was in a sitting position now, staring at Alex with seriousness. “I like you. You’re the second most intelligent person I know. And funny, and so kind.” 

Then John did what Alex was wishing at that moment, he kissed Alex. 

Alexander imagined death so much it felt like a memory, this is how it was going to get him? In his bed? With John’s lips over his?


	9. Ready

Alexander had a couple of notebooks under his bed. He wrote down every single thought. He wrote when he was confused, happy, scared or intrigued, and for that reason he had almost ten notebooks now, every single one of them full of his cursive lyric. He had one more notebook, and it was almost empty, he was trying to put down his most important thoughts, but they scattered on the air. He couldn’t write and that was pissing him off. He took the pen and tried one more:

_Alexander, I’m sorry._

_Destiny pushed us into this situation, deprived us from our freedom and throw us into a different life. Which circumstances made you look for a way out of your life? I have no idea, I’ve been living on your life for almost a month now and I’ve tried to found out what made you unhappy and I’m afraid I failed. I won’t refer to the high technology you can enjoy nor the uncountable information at your foot. Ill mention you friends._

That’s all he could write for the moment. His mind wasn’t focused as he would wish. The events of the morning had him distracted, his brain was playing every second again and again, and it was torture. He could hear Lafayette asking if he was back, and he could feel how John tensed waiting for the answer, the deception that followed was palpable, and surprisingly there was also relief. 

“Well, maybe our little lion wanted another night with the stars?” Lafayette proposed. “He talked a lot about how pretty they were there.”

“Maybe it was that.” John agreed.

Then John excused himself and left the room. Laf left minutes after that leaving Alexander alone. He knew it wasn’t the fault of the other Alex, he was the one to blame, and after all it was the idea of the other Alex to say their goodbyes that night and Alex ruined it, by kissing John. Technically he kissed you, his brain told him, but that didn’t matter because he was the only one who could control his thoughts and feelings. And his thoughts were thinking only on John and not on going back.

He was trying to write what was supposed to be a letter to the other Hamilton to read once he was back. Because he would get back, and Hamilton was going to make sure of it. And to make sure of it he needed to leave John and the rest of his friends, or he would think of them again at night. 

He ripped a page of the notebook, wrote a small note to his friends and then left the dorm. It wasn’t a school day so thankfully there weren’t that much people around in the campus, just a couple of students enjoying the weather. Sun was bright and there were enough couples to shelter those who didn’t like to be so exposed. Alexander didn’t knew where to go and realized that he didn’t knew much about the city he had been living.   

He started to walk and let his thoughts fly. 

Just like in war he needed to think toughly, without the distractions of his friends. If he would be on his time period this would be the time to take his horse and take a breath away from the soldiers. He would ride for a couple of days, just him his horse a couple of pens and parchments, he would sleep on the ground (or not sleep), the mere feeling of leave was enough for him. He loved talk to himself and he couldn’t do that in front of his compatriots, so he used those moments to do that and his horse didn’t mind. He knew enough about survival to last some days on his own, he could make fire, collect food and defend himself if someone was going to attack him (more usually than not he would defend himself from an animal). 

But here, in New York that was impossible. There wasn’t where to go to be alone, there were a bunch of people anywhere you look.  And he couldn’t get a horse to escape on solitude, of course. He realized he missed that, to be alone. He was a sociable person, but even he needed his alone time. 

After almost two hours of just wondering around he reached a cafeteria. It was the first one he found not crowed, thank god. Just three girls were inside, two of them were talking on a table near the window, and the third was the barista cleaning another table. Alexander decided to sit far away from the other girls. He took the notebook where he was writing the letter to Alex 2.0, and stare at it numb. 

“Alexander Hamilton without his crew, I don’t know if I should be impressed or scared.” The barista told him getting close to his table, she had a cup of coffee on her hand and left it on Alex’s table. “Dark coffee just as you like it.”

“Thank you.” He was confused, but took the coffee, using that time to read the name of the nametag in the uniform of the girl. Maria, it said.

He knew who she was. She was the reason why Eliza and the other Hamilton broke off. John explained to Alex after winning Halo with him, apparently Alex pretended to be Maria’s boyfriend when the girl begged him to do it, they were at a library and the girl asked him saying his ex-boyfriend was there and she needed to have a fake boyfriend. According to John Alexander started to act strange after that day, a month later they found that he was sleeping with the girl.

Alex couldn’t blame him, the girls was gorgeous. She had brown hair and full lips, even with the dull uniform she looked like the sin incarnate. Alex had to stop thinking about her on that way. 

“Hi Maria, long time no see.” He told her, expecting to sound like the other Hamilton, but how do you talk to a girl you fucked and cheated?

“Long time indeed. I’m surprised to find you here, I thought you were done with me.”

“I didn’t realize where I was going, to be honest.” Meaning he hadn’t know she worked there.

“I’m happy you are here anyway, maybe I can dispatch those girls and we can have some fun? What do you think?” She was leaning in front of Alex and she had really good breasts, and that’s all he could think of. “Me on a table, spreading my legs to you. I’m sure you miss me.” Her voice should be prohibited.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He finally said clearing his head. That wouldn’t help him.

“I’m kidding Alex. I know you’re taken, and I won’t commit the same mistake again. But call me if you’re single again, alright?” she winked but didn’t left.

“How do you know that?” John was very clear when he told Alex that his relationship with the other Alex was a secret.

“Peggy told me.” She said shrugging. “She is the gossip kind of girl, especially after a good orgasm if you know what I mean.” This time she licked her lips, and Hamilton could imagine those lips in other place.

“Ok, I don’t want to know.”

“No, you don’t. It still weird, with Eliza being her sister, but we would work it out later.”

“I really don’t want to know.” Hamilton insisted because now he was thinking of Eliza and Peggy and Maria, and no, he had to stop.

“You’re so easy to fluster as always dear, at least that hasn’t changed.”

“What else has changed?”

“Aside from that little thing of you preferring dicks?” Alex blushed once more and the girl laughed, this time she sat in front of him, ignoring the rest of the place. “I’m sorry but it’s so easy. Any way you look happier.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I know we had our fun but you were always, how to say it? Stoic.” All flirt disappear of her eyes. “Like if the real you were locked inside of you. I never told you this but I talked with Eliza after, you know. And she agreed with me, she blamed herself and said that you were broken because she wasn’t enough for you.”

“That’s not...”

“Shh, I’m not going to tell you what you should say to her. I’m saying that you look happier now, you’re not looking at the distance like you used to, and you actually smile and laugh. Peggy told me that a while ago, and she seemed relieved at that change.”

“I was miserable.” He said staring at his now cold coffee. Alex 2.0 as unhappy with his life in a way that he couldn’t comprehend.

“Give me your hands.” Maria asked and didn’t wait to take his hands, she examine them for a couple of seconds, turning them around and palping with her fingers. “You haven’t cut anymore, I’m proud of you.”

“I did that a lot.” He said staring at his hands when she let go of them, more to himself trying to understand his doppelganger.

“I’m glad not anymore.” Maria sighed. “I remember that night when I found you on the bathroom, all the blood and your eyes.” She shook her head, trying to erase the memories. “I’ve never been more scare. I know we just had sex, but I care about you. I tried to text you, and then I tried to talk to you, that’s how Peggy and I started talking, first she wanted to scream at me and asked me to leave you alone, but then we started talking and that’s how I knew about you and could sleep.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t knew you cared.”

“And that’s my fault.” She took Alex’s hands and for the first time Alex looked at her not with lust but with gratitude. “I should have told you how much I care about you, and how important you are to me.” She laughed. “You help me with my ex, and then with my mom when she kicked me out after finding out of the break up.”

“I wanted to help.” 

And hearing this girl, with all the sincerity on her voice he realized why Alex made his mistake, this was an innocent girl with a disguise over her shoulder to confuse the people who could take advantage of her.

“And now I want to help you. What’s bothering you? You’re not alone that often, and I must admit I’m concerned, I know how you get when you’re alone. Thoughts won’t let you alone, that’s what you used to say.”

“Actually you already did.”

“Really? I know I’m good but I wasn’t sure how much.”

“Thank you Maria, I’m honored to have you as a friend.” He assure her and kissed her hand.

“And people say chivalry is dead.” She mocked but she was smiling at Alex.

He got up, pay for the coffee and was about to leave.

“Find me in a couple of days and remind me of this talk, okay?” Alex asked her and she nodded.

“Goodbye, good sir.”

“Bye Maria.” 

And with that he left, and now he knew where to. For the first time he thought that maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault that they haven’t been swapped. Alex was unhappy, not like him he realized. Sure he felt bad in his life, with the war over his shoulders and his new feelings towards John, he wanted an escape from his life and that’s why he was swapped. But he didn’t hate his life, he still wished to be back in charge of his people, in charge of his horse and sword with the sound of the battle joining him. There was energy on his blood that he needed to use and he was never going to do that in 2016.

Did he like the commodities of this century? Of course. But they weren’t enough temptation. He still like his tent and the smell of ink. And especially he missed his friends, he realized that while talking with Maria. The other Alex was isolated from his friends, he didn’t talk with them about the important things even if they were just a click away. But _he_ talk with his friends, he sent them letters all the time, and he discussed constantly while traveling from one place to another.

What if the other Alex wasn’t ready to leave?

He reached Meredith’s house when the sun was getting down. He got lost on the subway and then again trying to find the house of the woman.

“My boy, come in, you need something to eat, and maybe use the bathroom?” Meredith greet him when he knocked.

The house was in the same way as he left it the night before, but this time Meredith was using a yellow and bright dress, and she had some flowers on her hair.

“I would like to talk with Hamilton, I don’t know how can it be possible tough. Maybe Meredith can reach him?”

“She’s with him.” She assured him without looking at him.

“Then can we…?”

“Remember what I told you? About the dead lurking you.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked with the heart on his throat. “Is someone dead?”

He couldn’t think straight. The face of his friends were dancing on his mind, Hercules, Laf, John and a bunch of other faces. Were they attacked? Were everyone dead?

“Alex is injured.” Meredith told him and led him to the living room where they take seat on the dusted sofas. “They were attacked this morning, the whole town I mean. Alex fought back but he was impaled by a redcoat.”

“But he is alive.”

“Barely.” She was playing with the tarot cards again, and Alex thought that maybe she had them as a nervous tick and not because she used them to read the future. “Meredith is with him, a doctor is on his way, but I’m afraid he’s unconscious. He lost a lot of blood.”

“It’s my fault, if I had wished to be back I would be there and he would be safe in here. And now he’s going to die because of I’m selfish.”

“That’s curious.” Meredith said. “Because I talked to him in the morning, before he was injured, and he asked me to ask your forgiveness because he didn’t wished to be back either.”

“What?”

“He said he like it there, the control he had over himself in there, and apparently he felt free.”

“How can he say that? He’s free here, there we are fighting for freedom.”

“I think he was talking of a different freedom.” She took Alex’s hands on hers and it was the second time of the day Alex was held by a wise woman. “He isn’t pressure there, there is not a school or teachers he need to impress. There is not an ex-girlfriend he disappoint, he is no constantly worrying if his friends are with him because they can’t get rid of him.”

“They don’t, they love him.”

“How can he know that? He is chased by demons just like yourself, the difference is that you learn how to fight against them while he learned how to run from them, but he was finally caught.”

“He wanted to end his life.” He said at loud for the first time. “And now he’s about to die.”

That’s what he didn’t get. He wished that too, more than once, even, he dreamt about death so much it felt more like a memory, he imagined if he would die on his sleep because of the hunger, or because of the fever, then he wonder if he would die in battle, with a sword trough his heart. He imagined a million ways, and he even fantasied about how his man would honor his dead. But he never thought on take his life with his own hand. Dying is easy, and living is harder he recall his general told him that when he was hungry for the battle.

“There’s a big difference when you want to end it, and someone else choose to do it for you. When someone try to kill you, that’s when you most want to hold on your life.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Something Meredith told me years ago. She has the feeling that Alex is ready to come here now that he’s in the border of life and death.”

“But he’s unconscious, how can he wish that way?”

“It’s like dreaming, and I agree with Meredith, I think Alex is ready to come back. The question here is, are you?”

He was. He was ready after talking to Maria and now he was surer of it. 

“I am.”

“Then I have to say I’ll miss you Alexander.” Meredith told him with a sad smile on his face.

“I’ll be on time?”

“Meredith is keeping him alive for tonight, I’m not sure if she can do it tomorrow too.”

“Then I’ll go now. Thank you, for everything.” He kissed her hands, just like he did with Maria and the woman smiled at him.

“Be happy Alexander.”

“I’m.” and with that he left, ready to go back home.

**…**

John Laurens was worry to say the least, and that’s why he was sleeping on Alex’s and Laf’s floor. Hercules was sleeping next to him, worry too. Alexander had disappear all day to God knew where. The morning was a disappointment when they realized that his Alex wasn’t back yet, but he was relieved too, for a reason he was scare to face his boyfriend again, especially after kissed another man (that looked and tasted just like his boyfriend). He was glad to have another day to think, and left the dorms to walk in the central park.

Then Laf called him and told that Alex left a note saying he went away. He didn’t took his cellphone with him and John was thinking the worse, he didn’t knew his way around the city, sure he was smart, but the prophecy of Meredith was still looming around, what if he got hit by a car? Or was robbed and shot? What if he fell in the sewer? There were many things that could go wrong.

They were about to call the police when he entered the dorm, he looked exhaust and determined and he said goodbye to everyone again, and assured them that this time he was leaving for good. And hearing that resolution made John nervous again. Three hours later they were sleeping together in the same room, just to make sure he didn’t escape again. 

“You’re not asleep.” Alex whispered towards John.

He jumped on his place and turned around to face Alex ho was in the bed. They didn’t shared it this time. 

“I’m nervous.”

“Don’t worry, this time it would be different. I’m ready and I’m sure he’s ready now too. I just need to conceal my sleep.”

“I’m just scare, that’s all.” John told him after how Alex stare at him, worry written on his face. “You heard Meredith, he was unhappy here, what if I’m the reason of that? I’m the one who wanted to keep this in secret? What if he doesn’t feel loved?”

“Then make sure you tell him.” Alex begged him. “He’s fragile, even if he don’t show it. Make sure he’s loved, and I know he is, I know all of you love him, especially you, but just let him know, alright?”

“I will.”

“Good.” Alex closed his eyes.´

“Thank you, these days you’ve help me Alexander, to find out why I love him, I shouldn’t have kissed you yesterday but…”

“Don’t worry, I understand.” He didn’t open his eyes while he talked. “It was part my fault too, I already told you about my situation, but you help me too. You’re brave and I hope I’ll be brave from now on with him.”

“And happy.” John added, because his Alex wasn’t the only unhappy to be swapped, and he needed to tell that to this man, this stranger who was now a friend to John. “Remember to be happy.”

“I am, and I promise I’m still going to be.” He opened his eyes for the last time, smiled at John and then closed them again.

John fell asleep minutes after that, wishing his new best friend a happy life, and wishing his boyfriend to be back to tell him how much he love him.

**…**

With the first ray of sunshine Alexander woke up, a big yawn was the first thing to come from his mouth. The second? A scream. 

Memories of the last day rushed to his head, he started palming his chest searching for the wound and the blood, the sword even, but he found nothing but a small scar where his ribs were. He found something else too, he was wearing a shirt, a t-shirt, and shorts. He looked around and found he was on his dorm, Lafayette was waking on his bed across the room, the curtain with the French flag was closed but a couple of rays of sun were showing. 

“Man, are you ok? You have another nightmare? Want me to make some coffee?” Laf asked, the sleep lingering on his voice while reaching for glasses.

“Laf?” he was still trying to believe what his eyes saw.

 

Lafayette awake with that, every trace of sleep gone from his features.

“Alex, Mon petit lion, is that you?”

“I think, I don’t know, I’m so confused.”

“What year is it?” he asked, he left the bed and was approaching Alex’s bed avoiding something on the floor, and Alex realized that John and Hercules were sleeping on the floor.

“Hopefully 2016.”

“Jesus!” he screamed and then started to wake the rest. “Guys! Our petit lion is back!”

“What?” John was the first to wake and his eyes drifted immediately to Alex. “Alexander?”

“Hi.” He felt shy all of sudden. His John, finally was in front of him and was more beautiful that he could remember, he missed him so much and to be finally with him was too much. He broke crying.

John rushed to Alex and held him on a tight hug while Alex cried. In no time he was kissing him, not in the lips but everywhere else, his eyes, hair, hands, cheeks and was constantly telling him he missed him. Alex broke the embrace just to look at his boyfriend in the eyes, then at his friends.

 

“I’m back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter and and epilogue, and we are done with this fic. Thank you so much for read this and for your kudos! And a especial thank you to Amanda312 for all her comments, you're amazing and i love you. The same to V, you made my days with your comments too. And to all, thank you, thank you ♥


	10. Easy as breathing

“You need to tell us everything, don’t miss anything.” Lafayette asked

Alexander was sitting in the same pub where he met his friends a couple of years ago, they order beers and a bowl of nachos but none of them were eating. John was next to Alex and was constantly touching him, as if he was trying to convince himself that he was still there, Alex held his hand and John smiled. 

Alexander Hamilton wasn’t sure how he felt, everything was still the same but he had a different perspective now, the most common things now seemed like the greatest wonders in life, his cellphone was the biggest treasure he could find and something as mundane as the toilet paper had him gazing with stars on his eyes. 

“I don’t know what to say, everything was so weird. I thought I was dreaming for the first days, and then I went to the camp and I saw everyone and it was so strange, guys, I’ve never felt so alive than in those moments where everyone was screaming for revolution.” 

He could remember those days with exactitude, the way the men screamed and clapped his hands in the air ready for battle, ready to fight for what they wanted. Alexander was sleeping until that moment of his life, and now all he wanted was to move, do something. He couldn’t believe that a month ago he was standing in a bridge trying to end with his life. That was his old self, there were so many things he wanted to do now. 

“You fought in a battle, like a real battle dude.” Hercules was eating the nachos now that it was obvious that no one else will. “How you felt?”

“Awful. Scared and alive.” With that John tug at his hand.

“And you almost die.” John told him.

They already talked about it in the morning when Alex woke. He told them about how he was stabbed and carried to Meredith’s house to be cured, he didn’t say about what he had heard while lying waiting to die. He heard John and Meredith say that he was going to die, that his body was so fragile that the wound will kill him. The first thing Alexander did in the morning was check his ribs and found just a scar where the wound was supposed to be. But he couldn’t stop thinking about those hours where he laid almost unconscious. He imagined death so much, but he never thought it was like that, so lonely, with no beat and no melody. He hoped to never repeat it.   

“But I’m here.”

“Yes, you are.” The boy answered. 

John was there, still grabbing him and was enough to make the rest of the boys uncomfortable. They didn’t thought twice at John being so touchy with Alex, after everything that had happened, but they were starting to realize that something else was going on. Alex blushed and tried to free himself of John’s embrace, remembering how the boys had asked to their relationship to be a secret. 

“Uhm, John.”

“What?” his boyfriend asked.

“We’re in public.” He hated that, but he will respect his boyfriend’s wishes.

“Oh right, I forgot.” John said but he did something Alex wasn’t expecting. 

Instead of letting go of Alex, John gabbed Alex’s face on his hands and kissed him on the lips. It wasn’t a tender kiss, it was just a quick and loud kiss. Alex could hear his friends screaming at them, in repulsion or shock or approbation? He didn’t knew, all he could understand that moment was that John was kissing him with fire. As soon as it started it ended. Lafayette and Hercules had their mouth open and John smiled at them content. 

“Alex and I are a couple, just so you know.” He said and took a drink from his beer.

“WHAT!” Hercules and Angelica screamed at unison. 

The Schuyler sister had arrived and Peggy was jumping on her toes telling at everyone that was listening that she already knew. Angelica was demanding to know the when and how’s, and Eliza sat next to Alex smiling but not as bright as the rest of the presents. 

“I missed you so much Betsey.” Alex assured her taking her hand.

“I missed you too.” 

And they weren’t talking just of the weeks they were apart from each other because of the weird swap, but for all the months since their break up. Eliza kissed him on the cheek and accepted a beer from Lafayette, who was asking a round of shots to celebrate the ‘amour de ces petites colombes’. 

“I love you, you know that right.” John told Alex.

“I know. And I love you.” He assured him, kissing him on the lips again, wining more reactions from all their friends.

He was glad to be back.

 

**…**

 

Alexander Hamilton was on his tent writing down a declaration from the general George Washington. He missed a month in the other world and he needed to get back on track as soon as he could. He wasted another three days with his friends celebrating in pubs, telling his experiences and assuring them that he was back for good. And he was. He was ready to go back to work. 

He was almost on track, there were a couple of letter he needed to rewrite and dispatch in the next days but he could do it. He almost missed the lap he had in the other place, he would be able to finish his work in half of the time. Not for the first time he got angry at himself for not learning how the machine was built, there wasn’t any possibility of build one for himself. But anyway, he wasn’t a mechanic.

“Why am I not surprised to find you here?” John Laurens asked walking in his tent. 

He was wearing his uniform, and was as clean as the day. Alex felt how his heart tugged inside. He spend almost a month staring at the other John Laurens and thought that they were alike, but they weren’t, his John Laurens was prettier. He was more formal and elegant, in a way that made Alex’s bones tremble with just a look. His John was able to make Alex breathless with one of his easy smiles in a way that no one could repeat. 

“Where should I be?” Alex asked, letting go of his pen. “There’s a lot of work to do.”

“There is, the other Alex tried to help, but he was needed for other things.”

“So I heard, apparently he was pretty good at speeches.”

“Not as good as you, my dear friend.” 

And that was something Alexander could never get used to, his friend calling him dear was the most poetic form of speech that he could support. 

“We never talked about that day.” John told him, playing with something on his hand and Alex knew what it was, it was a letter that he wrote but never had the courage to send.

“Where did you get that?”

“The other Alex found it in your possessions. He gave it to me, but I never read it, my friend. And I’m here to give it back to you.” 

John crossed the space between them and gave Alex the letter, brushing his finger in Alex’s hands at doing so. Alex started at the letter, and then at his friend and did something he wanted to do for a long time. 

“You say we never spoke about that day, and you’re right. Please, let me read you this letter, I wrote it the same day you speak about.”

“I’m very interested in hear it.” John said and stood there, in front of Alex desk, tall and impressive.

Alex coughed and opened the letter to start reading.

“My dear boy. I’m afraid there’s a sickness inside of me, I’m not able to sleep or eat. Don’t worry my friend, I can assure you it’s not a fatal disease, it don’t have to be with my injuries either, it has to be with my unarresting mind that keep telling me things I used to lock in the deepness of my brain.”

“Go on.” John asked and his face was so open that not for the first time Alex thought that maybe his feelings were not one-sided.

“There is a particular thought that torments me by night and is the memory of our farewell. How long you've waited to do this? Have you ever fantasized to kiss me on more than one occasion as I had done?” Alex stopped reading to look at John and found that the man was as red as he. “I can't count the amount of times I had thought about it, but I can tell you that the first time was when we met. I needed, no, I wanted to know your name. Then you spoke and I swear by God that I had never heard someone with so much fervor and excitement in his voice. You talked and talked and drink and drink and the thought crossed through my head without giving me chance to analyze it. I wanted to shut you up with a kiss. Not because I didn't wished to continue listening to you, but because I wanted to taste the words directly from your lips, to be the unique receiver of your voice.” 

He wasn’t sure how he could keep reading with fire on his brain and face, was he so passionate every time he wrote at his friend? How can he be so blind about his own feelings towards that man before the kiss? Maybe he was more open now that he knew it was possible this kind of love, having experienced it in the other world. John begged him to keep reading and he did. 

“My desire didn't end up with that night, no, it become worse. Each day we spent together I had to suppress my instinct to take you in my arms, I don't know what I would have done if you had rejected me all those times in which my actions were more than friendly. I had to conform with laying an arm over your shoulders each time we met, grazing my hand with yours whenever I had the chance, and each time I was grateful of our friends presence because I swear my dear, if our friends were not with us all those times my hand would not have stopped.”

“Go on, please.” John asked once more, but this time choose to sit next to Alex, still facing him over the desk and Alexander had to look at the letter again, just to avoid the eyes of his friend.

“I'll repeat my question.” He read. “How long you've waited to do this? Because I swear my boy, that if the response is similar to mine I won't rest until we recover all the lost time. A single kiss of yours and I find myself in the most extraordinary position I've ever been, I have not been able to erase you from my mind, my lips taste like yours, and I am afraid that if I separate from you the taste will be deleted completely, then I will have to endure a whole week without recovering the flavor.” 

He had written those words not just the night of their farewell, but he kept writing the next days when the ghost of John’s lips still tormented him, he was away in order of the general and Alexander couldn’t think of anything else. John then did something Alex wasn’t expecting, he started touching him, vaguely, just touching his hair with those long fingers. He kept reading. 

“These two nights have been the worst agony, my fantasies more banned have become my desires. Imagine them as little lions that I had locked in cages so as not to ruin the friendship that we have, but your kiss has been the key that has opened the cages and now they play free in my mind and they torture me with the same fervor with which you has tortured me from the first time we met,” John let Alex’s hair free and now was playing freely with the strands of hair. “with each stolen glance, and every smile meant especially for me. If your kiss is an indication that you correspond to my feelings, I am afraid that the cages will be completely destroyed.”

“Go on.” John asked, not stopping his work in Alex’s hair.

“Is that all, I never got myself to finish it.” 

That was all, he laid his heart and most forbidden thought in front of the man he loved. John stopped his stroking and Hamilton had to face him to know how he felt. Had he fucked everything? Was his friend as disgusted as he feared? But John was smiling at him.

“You know, someone told me that love was as easy as breathing.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Hamilton said, because honestly, that wasn’t what he was expecting to hear.

“What I’m trying to say, my dear, is that you make breathe easy.”

“So?” Who said that Alex was smart? Because now he felt as dumb as Lee.

“I wanted to kiss you for as long as you said, my boy.” John said and Alex couldn’t breathe. 

John grabbed Alex’s face on his hands and kissed him slowly and tenderly. It wasn’t their first kiss but it was better this time, because he wasn’t afraid of how he would react, because he knew about John’s feelings and because he knew about his own feelings too. 

“We can work with this, whatever it is.” Alex told him.

“I know, we will have to work it out. I love you.”

Alex couldn’t answer, he kissed the man again and again, thanking the other John for making himself realize what he felt for John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I stole the letter from another of my fics?...maybe  
> But just a small epilogue and this is done! If you don't want to be sad, don't read that lol Thanks for reading and for your kudos!! ♥


	11. Epilogue

Alexander Hamilton was cleaning his gun, Eliza was sleeping and he would be back before she woke, or that was the plan, he wasn’t sure what would happen that night with Burr but that didn’t stopped him to think toughly. His war with Aaron Burr was ending that night. He was almost ready, his guns were ready, his glasses and he had already call his second to join him in the duel. Then he received a ‘call’, he still wasn’t sure how to call it, after all it wasn’t technically a call, it felt like if someone else’s thoughts were playing on his head. 

He found himself in a room nice decorated, nothing like his own living room, this place had futuristic furniture he forgot what they were called if not for the other thoughts on his head he might not know that there was a television, a laptop on a table and a cellphone on his hand. 

“Long time since the last time we talked.” He said and the other person laughed.

“Because you always avoid me.” 

It was true, he learned how to communicate with his doppelganger but they never talked much, they were busy with different things, Alex with the revolution and the other Alex with his new work in the ONU, whatever that was. Then John died and Alexander couldn’t talk to his friend, he only gave him a warning so the other John could be safe. 

Alexander couldn’t talk with the other because it hurt to know that he had his friend with him and was as happy as he deserved, not that Alexander wasn’t happy, his life with Eliza was the best thing that had happened to him, she was the sweetest human being on earth and she had forgiven him after his encounter with Maria Reynolds. He never had sex with the woman, how could he when he knew what happened between his doppelganger? But still he spend a lot of time with the woman, trying to help her. He told that to Betsey and she forgive him. 

The other Alex was always trying to communicate with him to tell him about the things in his life. His Eliza died a couple of years ago and Alexander spend the rest of the weekend in the arms of his wife, hoping she didn’t left him. 

Alexander and John adopted three girls and were the happiest couple, and Alexander ignore the other Alex’s calls every time because he ache for his past lover. 

“Philip died.” Alexander told him. 

His son was dead. His boyfriend was dead. And he was going to die, probably. He wasn’t as good as he used to with his gun. 

“Don’t Hamilton, don’t do it.”

“How can you know what I’m going to do?”

“Because I know you, we’re more alike than what we originally thought.” The other Alex remind him, and he was right.

“I need to finish this war with Aaron Burr.”

“Fuck Aaron Burr.” 

The last voice didn’t belonged to his doppelganger but to a person he lost a long time ago. Alexander clutched his chest and tears dropped in his suitcase. He thought he won’t be able to listen to that voice never again. 

“John?”

“It’s been a while.” The man said. 

Alex could tell the differences in the voice he kept safe on his memory, this voice seemed more mature and with a reason, this voice belonged to a man and no to the kid he fell in love such a long time ago. This voice belonged to a man that was alive, father of three boys and happily married, not to a man killed in a battle. 

“I miss you so much.” Was he talking about his John Laurens of the ghost of the boy he met twenty years ago in a different world?

“I know, but listen to me, don’t do anything stupid. I know it’s like telling the sun no to shine, but do it Alexander. Eliza needs you.” 

Alexander closed his eyes, it was like hearing his friend talking to him, even if he wasn’t the same person. He missed his boyfriend so much. 

“I can’t turn down a battle.”

“Yes you can, fuck Burr, just send him a letter and tell him to grown some pants. Alexander, John wouldn’t not like you to die like this.” 

It was too much, the voice, the words and the guilt. 

“I loved him, you know? I loved him with all my heart, and he left.”

“I know. And I know you love Eliza too. We lost our Betsey Alexander, and you know what? Alex haven’t’ been the same since that day.”

“But he love you.”

“You can love more than one person.” John stopped talking for a second. “I know you feel like you can’t give all your heart to Eliza because you still love John, but listen to me, you can, and it’s allow to love more than one person.”

“I just want it to end.”

“But don’t.” John asked him. “There are still a lot of thigs you need to do. Go back with your wife Alexander, she needs you.” 

And with that Alex had another thought, one that didn’t belonged to him. Apparently the marriage of his friend wasn’t as perfect as he thought and the other Alexander was realizing that he had ignore his husband for a long time. Alexander watched his wife sleeping on the bed, and then looked at the gun, the same his son used and then decided to leave it inside the draw where it was before, and he walked to the bed and laid next his wife. 

“Thanks John.” He said.

“Be happy Alexander.”

“I will.” He promised and broke the connection with the past.

Eliza woke and turn around to take a look at Alexander, she was as pretty as the day when he met her, her cheeks were rose and her mouth was lifting in a smile. 

“Weren’t you going to an early meeting?” she asked.

“I canceled.” He told her and she agreed, she kissed him on the lips and went back to sleep. 

He missed his boyfriend, but he was married with the best of wives and the best of women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Thank you so much for reading! I love every single one of you ♥♥♥♥


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